


thank u, next

by fuckboibam



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Song fic, thank u next
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-10-10 01:04:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17416019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckboibam/pseuds/fuckboibam
Summary: A brief exploration of Do Kyungsoo's love life, based on Ariana's song, thank u, next.





	1. one taught me love

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea when the song first came out, and now it's like two months later and I only have 35ish percent done. Happy birthday to Soo (And me bc we share a birthday!!!), and Jongin bc his birthday is the day after, and he happens to be the first boy.

Kyungsoo fell in love the first time like a hurricane. Quickly, powerfully. it happened suddenly, with no real warning besides the loud alarm in his head the second Kyungsoo saw him. his name was Kim Jongin, and he transferred to Kyungsoo’s school in sophomore year. His family moved around a lot, Jongin explained to his Literature class, where Kyungsoo sat in the back watching Jongin with a sharp look in his eyes. Their teacher thanked Jongin, and he quickly made his way to the back of the room, to the empty chair next to Kyungsoo.

‘Hi, I’m Jongin.’ Jongin introduced himself to his desk partner immediately after sitting down. Kyungsoo watches Jongin shyly introduce himself and falls in love with him on the spot.

‘I’m Kyungsoo.’ He tells Jongin. And that was that.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

Over the next few weeks, Kyungsoo falls for Kim Jongin properly. They sit in the back of their literature class, sharing quiet discussions about the books they were reading, or the dumb jocks up the front who thought taking Lit in sophomore year would be easier than taking a second language. They talk about the weather, and their friends, and their worries and concerns, and mostly they just talk. Nothing, and everything.

Jongin tells Kyungsoo about his family moving around a lot, and how he’s never been able to stay in one place for long, because his dad has a job in the military and he has to work all over Korea. His family are close, so instead of Jongin’s father going away for extended periods of time, they all move together. Jongin worries that he’s never going to be able to settle down for long enough to make friends, to find someone to love him.

Kyungsoo tells Jongin about how he doesn’t have many friends (even though he wants more) because he’s scared to bother people, and that he would rather be alone than get attached to people, because he’s worried that they might leave and destroy him completely.

Outside of their Lit class, they rarely see each other. Jongin makes friends with the kids he shares dance and music classes with, and Kyungsoo continues to hang out with his best friend Ryeowook, sitting in empty classrooms and talking about the latest movies, or in the drama room with his small group of friends. 

Until Jongin comes and sits down with Kyungsoo and Ryeowook one lunch time. With no warning, or even a question, Jongin finds him in an empty class room, introduces himself to Kyungsoo’s best friend and slowly worms his way into another part of Kyungsoo’s life.

With Jongin hanging around him more time than not, his friends, his older brother, and even his other family members wonder why he’s not around, and who the nice boy is who’s walked him home the last few days.

 ‘that’s Jongin, he just moved here.’ He answers his mom, and then taking another bite of his dinner. He chews slowly and looks around the table, where his parents and brother are exchanging looks that Kyungsoo can’t quite recognise.

‘And he lives close by?’ his mom asks him with a sly smile. Kyungsoo stops to think, and realises that Jongin lives on the other side of the school, almost a whole hour’s walk back to his house. The next day at school, Kyungsoo questions why this honestly ethereal boy from his Literature class has been walking him home every day of school, despite it being so far away from his own house.

‘I just want to hang out with you, that’s all.’ Jongin answers, and the teacher shushes them before going back to the symbolism in their book. Kyungsoo mutters a small ‘oh’ and doesn’t question it anymore. He goes back to spending his lit class with him, and his lunch times, and the times before and after school when Jongin meets him by his locker.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo is gay. Always has been, cant ever remember a time when he was attracted to a girl, besides Bae Joohyun from the year above him. to this day, Kyungsoo is convinced he likes her because he wants to be her, not because he actually wants to be with her.

Kyungsoo has also never talked about his sexuality with anyone at his school, besides Ryeowook when he caught Kyungsoo looking at Kim Junmyeon’s butt one time, and the couple of drama kids he spends his time with.

Except now, Kyungsoo is in love with Jongin. He, against his better judgment, wants to skip down the halls of his school, telling everyone how he wants to kiss Jongin all over his stupid face. And also just kiss Jongin all over his stupid face.

But he’s shy. Jongin had become popular, being on the dance team, and playing sports with the other kids, unlike Kyungsoo who had directly avoided his peers during his freshman and sophomore years. Kyungsoo says nothing about his crush to Jongin, continuing to hang out with him in almost every second of their school day when not in actual classes.

His mom and brother, are not so subtle about Kyungsoo’s crush either. They know him far too well, and realising that he is crushing on the boy who walks him home from school every night, they insist that he invite Jongin over for dinner one night.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

Dinner goes by fine, besides Kyungsoo’s mom cooing over Jongin, telling Kyungsoo that he should be more like the younger boy. Kyungsoo sighs and says nothing.

‘Honestly, Mrs Do, Kyungsoo is someone who I aspire to be, not the other way around.’

‘oh honey, that’s sweet, but he’s grumpy most of the time. You’re lovely.’

‘MOM!’

‘you know he likes you, right?’ his mom tells him after dinner that night, the second Jongin left their house. Kyungsoo stops washing the dishes and turns to his mother, sitting at the counter.

‘No, we’re just really good friends.’ Kyungsoo tells his mother, going back to scrubbing the plates.

‘Kyungsoo, you know it’s okay for you to like him. you know we’re okay with you being gay, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t.’

‘I’m worried I’m going to get hurt. His family moves around a lot, I don’t want him to leave.’

‘it might be different this time. And Kyungsoo, sweetie, you’re 16. Heartbreak is going to happen to you at some point, it doesn’t mean you should avoid love at all.’

‘I guess.’ They stop talking. Kyungsoo finishes up the dishes, kissing his mom on the cheek and retreating to his room. He sits down at his desk, putting his head down and thinking about what his mom said. He doesn’t want to be alone, to not date anyone because he’s afraid of getting hurt.

But he doesn’t know if Jongin is interested in him, even anything close to the way Kyungsoo is interested in Jongin.

So he does the cringiest thing he possibly could, and googles it.

‘how to tell if a boy likes you?,’ Kyungsoo types into google, before scrolling down and shutting the tab. ‘I’m not stupid enough to google that.’ He says, opening up a game on his phone to play. He plays it for a few seconds and puts it down, opening google again. He sighs, and types the same thing again, and is disappointed to find that all of the articles are written for girls. So he tries again.

‘how to tell if a boy likes you gay,’ This search was far more helpful. Kyungsoo scrolled through a list of things that boys would do if they liked him. Jongin did most of them, besides the last one which said that Jongin should have told him he liked him. Kyungsoo still wasn’t completely convinced. He told himself that by next week, he would ask Jongin. No matter what.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

‘you want to go to the park after class?’ Jongin asks Kyungsoo at lunch, as the bell rings.

‘yeah sure.’ They separate, walking to their individual classes. Kyungsoo sits down in Math, in his usual spot, and doesn’t pay attention the entire time. Is it a date? Is Jongin asking him out, or does he just want to hang out? Did he want to help with his homework, like the other week? He gave himself a headache just thinking about it.

 He also doesn’t remember a single thing from the entire hour. Kyungsoo is good at math, he swears, but when someone he knows asks him for his notes, he has to tell them that he didn’t take any, for the first time in his entire life.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

They walk closely to each other, talking softly about a movie Jongin saw last night. Kyungsoo goes on a rant about directors, and Jongin doesn’t really pay attention to what he’s saying but nods along and laughs at his passion about the topic. They reach the park closest to Kyungsoo’s house, and make their way to the empty swings across the park. They sit down, Kyungsoo still ranting about the im.

 ‘do you like me?’ Kyungsoo stops and asks Jongin suddenly. Jongin awkwardly rubs the back of his neck and nods.

‘yeah.’ He answers. Kyungsoo nods, and blushes. He turns away, and Jongin grins at the cute, older boy.

‘okay.’ Jongin doesn’t ask Kyungsoo if he likes him back. He already knows.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

‘lets go on a date.’ Kyungsoo asks Jongin when he sits down in his seat in Literature the next day. Jongin laughs.

‘There’s a movie I wanted to see, we can get dinner as well?’ he questions back.

‘sure.’ Kyungsoo shrugs, pretending not to look happy at Jongin’s answer.

‘okay.’

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo arrived at the local cinema a half hour early, because his mom got so excited about his date that she insisted on dressing him, and driving him to the cinema. She dropped him off out front, fixing his button up and telling him to stop messing with his hair. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, running his hand through his hair again. He can’t help it, okay, he’s nervous. He waves as she drives away, and walks inside.

He expects to be there first, but Jongin is there when he walks in, and Kyungsoo almost trips over from the shock. He was sure that the extra half hour before they were _supposed_ to meet would give him time to breathe, and prepare himself to see who Kyungsoo honestly believes to be the most beautiful person he has ever seen.

Jongin grins when he sees Kyungsoo walk in, and immediately walks over to his date. Jongin asks Kyungsoo if he wants to get ice cream before the movie, because it doesn’t start for forty minutes. Kyungsoo agrees, and they walk to the ice cream parlour across the road from the cinema. Jongin demands to pay for both of them,

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

They get distracted, and miss the first five minutes of ads because they’re distracted talking. When they realise they’re late, they rush out, running across the road without waiting for the light. As they run in, Kyungsoo runs towards the ticket booth, before Jongin grabs him by the hand to stop him.

‘I already bought tickets like an hour ago, we just need to go in that way.’ Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. He tries to argue about paying Jongin back as the ticket girl scans their tickets, and tells him he can pay for them next time. Kyungsoo doesn’t stop to question Jongin proposing their second date  until he’s laying in bed that night, staring at the ceiling.

They watch an action movie. Kyungsoo is very focused on the movie, the directing, and the main actor who’s also in his favourite ever movie. He makes comments to Jongin quietly, about the acting, and director choices, but also just the interesting storyline. Jongin watches Kyungsoo the entire time, listening intently to every word Kyungsoo says in case he has to talk about it later.

At some point, Jongin begins inching his hand closer to Kyungsoo’s on the arm rest, paying attention to his reaction as he gets closer. When he gets close enough, he touches his pinky to Kyungsoo’s, and Kyungsoo jumps out of his seat. Jongin looks towards the screen quickly, when Kyungsoo turns to look at Jongin, blushing. Kyungsoo stares for a long time, before returning his attention to the movie. Kyungsoo doesn’t move his hand for the rest of the movie. Neither does Jongin.  

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

When Kyungsoo gets home that night (a lot later than he’d told his mom), his mom and brother were sitting at the kitchen table. His mom fusses over him, making sure he ate and that he was safe, before asking how the date was. His brother laughs and pats his head, telling him that he had to go through their mom being crazy about his first date too.

He tells his mom about the date, and then escapes to his room to do homework. He thought he was, anyway, when he gets a text from Jongin, and an Instagram notification. Jongin had taken a photo of him during dinner, that Kyungsoo had not realised, and posted it on Instagram tagging Kyungsoo’s basically empty account.

‘my main literature boo, isn’t he cute?’ the post read with multiple hearts. He didn’t realise they were telling people so fast, they hadn’t even really talked about it on their date. Kyungsoo scrolled down on the post, to see almost a hundred likes, and a bunch of comments about how cute they are, and how glad they are to see Kyungsoo and Jongin dating. Kyungsoo shuts Instagram quickly, not thinking about it, and opens the text.

 

 

I had so much fun today, let’s do that again but like a lot

Unless you don’t want to, and I misjudged this evening lol

no, you didn’t.

I had fun, everything’s happening really quickly

and im not really,,, experienced in any of this

Me either, soo. I just really like you and I want to date you

Me too

so are we boyfriends now?

I think so?

nice!!

Cool

I should probably go to bed, soo

I didn’t get much sleep last night, I was excited

lame

You literally jumped out of your chair when I tried to hold your hand

You laughed about it at dinner too

Stop making fun of me ☹

I’m not, it was really cute

Go to bed, Jongin

You first, soo soo

oh and did you see my Instagram post?

When did you take that?

I’m not telling you

I just checked, you didn’t like it ☹ ☹ ☹

I’ll go like it now

Night Jongin <3

<3<3

 

Kyungsoo puts his phone down on his desk and almost dives on to his bed. He cant even stop himself from grinning as he shoves his face into his pillow and makes an undistinguishable noise. He grabs his phone again, and stares at the last text. He scrolls up and reads some of their other conversations before today,  and then suddenly ‘so are we boyfriends now?’ Kyungsoo puts his phone down next to his bed and tries to go to sleep.

(but not before reading the texts again, and checking the growing amount of comments on Jongin’s Instagram post)

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

On Kyungsoo’s fourth month anniversary date, he takes Jongin to the mall. Jongin’s anniversary date the week before was, extravagant to say the least. Jongin had saved up money from his job at Uniqlo all month and taken them to an expensive restaurant in Gangnam, and then went to the Seoul night market and walked around for hours.

So when Kyungsoo took off Jongin’s blindfold the next weekend, in front of the local mall, Jongin was confused. Kyungsoo says nothing, but drags Jongin to a clothing store and takes him inside.

‘Okay so here’s what we’re doing here. We’re going to choose outfits for each other, and decide on one to buy. No limits, you can get whatever you want and I’ll wear it.’ Jongin slowly grins as he realises what he could do to his poor boyfriend.

‘soo this is actually the best anniversary present ever.’ Kyungsoo sighs, knowing full well what was about to happen.

‘come on then.’ Jongin drags him into the first store he sees and almost runs to the jeans section. Jongin finds the most ripped, torn black pair of skinny jeans and hands them to Kyungsoo.

‘this is a you pair of jeans, not a me pair of jeans.’ Kyungsoo tries to reason with Jongin, who is already dragging him to the other side of the store.

‘soo stop trying to ruin our anniversary and try them on.’ Kyungsoo pouts but follows his boyfriend anyway. Jongin sings along to the pop song that was playing in the store while scrolling through

‘this really doesn’t go with my sweater.’

‘which is why I’m finding you a nice tank top that shows off your arms.’

‘nini, no.’

‘Soo, you told me I could choose an outfit, do this for me.’ Kyungsoo gives up and takes the tank that Jongin handed to him. Jongin points him towards the dressing room, telling him not to forget to put the jeans on as well. Kyungsoo doesn’t think he’s regretted anything in his life more than this decision.

He walks out of the dressing room, and Jongin immediately starts taking photos of him.

‘Soo, you look so hot.’ Jongin tells him as he keeps taking photos. Kyungsoo blushes and goes to change back into his normal clothes. ‘no, leave them on. We’re buying them and you’re wearing them for the rest of the day.’ Kyungsoo groans, but doesn’t protest, and instead goes over to the section with the sweaters to pick an outfit for Jongin.

‘Soo, I wear sweaters all the time.’ Jongin tells his boyfriend, hugging him from behind and leaning his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

‘I know, but they look cute on you.’ Kyungsoo picks out a baby blue sweater, and hands it to Jongin.

‘really? What pants am I wearing?’

‘skinny jeans?’ Kyungsoo questions. Jongin laughs and walks back over to the jeans section. ‘you know what, the same skinny jeans. We can be matching.’

‘I’ll go put these on and then we can go get lunch.’ Jongin walks towards the dressing room, while Kyungsoo goes to the counter and asks the girl if they can wear their clothes out. She agrees, hesitantly, asking for the tags. Jongin comes back, wearing the sweater and skinny jeans that second. Kyungsoo pulls the tags off Jongin’s sweater and the jeans and puts his on the counter as well.

‘you two are really cute together, I saw you arguing earlier about your outfits.’

‘it’s our anniversary, he wanted to do something special for me.’ Jongin tells her. She coos, and tells them the price. Kyungsoo insists on paying and they walk out, holding hands and walking towards the food court.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

Everything is perfect, and they’re so in love. Jongin’s family promise him that they won’t move until the end of the year at least, and that they might end up staying here until he graduates in two years.

And then towards the end of the next summer, Jongin becomes distant for a couple of days, and it hurts. Kyungsoo worries that he isn’t good enough anymore, that Jongin finally found someone truly worthy of his incredible, basically angelic self. Eventually, he stops talking to Kyungsoo all together, and Kyungsoo is left wondering what he did wrong, and why the love of his life wasn’t talking to him.

He’s moving, Jongin tells him with tears in his eyes after showing up at Kyungsoo’s window a bit more than four days since he’d talked to Kyungsoo at all. He climbs in the window, and blurts it out, and then pulls Kyungsoo into a hug.

‘I love you so much. I don’t want to leave.’ Jongin admits quietly into Kyungsoo’s neck.

‘I love you too.’ Kyungsoo falls silent. They end up cuddling, awkwardly, on Kyungsoo’s single bed. They stay there all night, holding each other and not talking. Kyungsoo would rather do anything than talk about his feelings at that moment. And Jongin, the boy who has loved him for a year knows this. So he says nothing. In the morning, they get up out of bed and Jongin sits next to Kyungsoo on the edge of his bed.

‘when are you leaving?’ Kyungsoo asks, breaking almost seven hours of silence.

‘in about an hour.’ Jongin looks at the time on his phone, and then answering Kyungsoo.

‘oh.’ Kyungsoo says. They fall silent again. ‘we can still date, you wont be _that_ far away. I can get the train to see you.’ Kyungsoo says to Jongin, hopefully. Jongin shakes his head.

‘I don’t want that, Kyungsoo. I don’t want to suffer through it ending like that. I want to remember us as this. Not our relationship withering away to nothing while we fall in love with other people. Not falling out of love because we were forced to.’

‘oh.’

‘I really love you, Kyungsoo, I want you to know that.’

‘I know. I guess this is bye then.’

‘Not forever. One day, in the future. We’ll be friends. I’ll come to your wedding, or you’ll come to mine, and we’ll talk about what almost was once. Bye, Kyungsoo.’ Jongin doesn’t wait for Kyungsoo to respond. He just opens the window and climbs back out like he’s done hundreds of times, but this time he wouldn’t again.

Kyungsoo doesn’t cry. Not for a while, anyway. He lays in bed that Sunday, staring at the roof and trying to remember what it was like before Jongin. What to do now that he wasn’t there. Usually, they’d be studying, or at the aquarium, or going to the local market for Kyungsoo’s and Jongin’s moms, getting the groceries for the week.

It was never loud, with Jongin, they didn’t make that much noise to begin with. But it was far too quiet for Kyungsoo to be comfortable. He was used to the small comments he used to make, or the music Jongin would put on while they sat in silence in their bedrooms.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

His mom comes into his room at 2pm, wondering why she hadn’t seen him since the day before. She looks at his face and immediately gives him a hug, pulling him as close into her as possible.

‘what happened?’ she rubs her hand up and down Kyungsoo’s back as he sits there staring blankly at the wall across from his bed.

‘he’s gone. Broke up with me, and left.’

‘gone where?’

‘he didn’t even tell me. But he’s not coming back, he made that much clear.’

‘Kyungsoo, sweetie, let’s go shopping. I haven’t gotten to the market yet, and you need to be out of here for a little while.’

‘I’d rather not, mom. I just want to stay here for a little while.’ His mom sighs and gets up from his bed. She lingers in the doorway, looking sadly at her son.

‘Sweetie, you know this is bad for you. You need some time to deal with it, but don’t let this break you. You deserve more than this.’ She leaves, and closes the door behind him. he continues to stare at the ceiling until he sees the sun go down from his open bedroom window.

Kyungsoo think about his last days with Jongin, before he started not messaging Kyungsoo back. They’d gone to the park where they had their first date and had a picnic, and stayed there until late playing on the swings and chasing each other around the play equipment. They would text, almost hour of every day, and play games of words with friends fairly regularly.

There was no signs at all, that Jongin was going to leave. Jongin had taken the day of school last Thursday, telling Kyungsoo that he had a 24 hour flu, and then Kyungsoo didn’t hear from Jongin again. Kyungsoo realises that this was probably when his parents told him they were moving, but he didn’t understand Jongin’s decision not to tell him until the night before. The older boy thinks about how they could have spent their last days together, until he realises that’s exactly why Jongin didn’t tell him until then.

To know that they only had four days left. If Kyungsoo had known, it would have hurt far more to do the goodbye thing, than just to up and leave. Kyungsoo wonders if he would have made the same decision. He wants to hate Jongin, for making that decision without him. he wants to hate Jongin for leaving, if he’s being honest, but he can’t.  Kyungsoo loves him, and Jongin loves him back. Loved, Kyungsoo supposes.

He gets out of bed after this, and goes downstairs. It’s late by then, almost 10pm, and his mom and dad would already in bed. Seungsoo, however, was playing videogames on the TV. Kyungsoo walks over and sits down on the sofa next to his brother.

‘Hey, Soo. Mom made your dinner, it’s in the fridge. You wanna come play smash?’ his older brother asks him. Kyungsoo shakes his head.

‘I’m just going to eat and then go to bed, I think.’

‘okay, well I’m here if you need me.’ Kyungsoo nods, and walks into the kitchen to grab his food. He eats it quickly, not really paying attention to the flavour. He just wants to eat and go to sleep, and pretend this day, and really the last year never happened.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

When Kyungsoo arrives at school the next day, Ryeowook is waiting by his locker. For a second, he saw someone standing next to his locker and expected Jongin and his smiling face. And then he remembers that Jongin isn’t coming back anytime soon. A girl stops him in the hallway, and asks if Jongin is really gone. Kyungsoo tells her that yes, Jongin is gone, his family moved away again, and no, they aren’t still dating. She frowns, says sorry, and walks away. Kyungsoo keeps walking to his locker, ignoring everyone until he gets to Ryeowook.

‘Hey, what’s up dude? Did you watch the drama this weekend like I told you?’

‘No, I mostly hung out with Seungsoo and slept.’

‘I haven’t seen him in a while, he doing okay?’

‘yeah, his classes are busy and he has a bunch of assignments, but he’s okay.’ Kyungsoo tells his best friend. He nods. The bell rings and Kyungsoo opens his locker to shove his stuff into, and taking out his textbooks for the next class.

 ‘he told me to look after you. I just thought you should know. ’ Ryeowook tells him, patting Kyungsoo on the shoulder. Kyungsoo sighs and closes his locker. he wonders if Jongin spoke to Ryeowook before he talked to him. he cant help but be a little angry, but he shoves it down and walks to class.

The back of their Literature class felt weird too. The empty space next to him was foreign, uncomfortable to Kyungsoo. He wondered if that space would be filled up by a new student soon.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

It was fine, for a couple of months. Kyungsoo pretended that he was totally okay, that the Jongin shaped hole in him wasn’t there anymore. Jongin called him one night, at 2am. he didn’t recognise the number at first, and then when he did, he almost didn’t answer. He swiped the screen slowly and put the phone up to his ear.

‘do you ever think about us?’ Jongin doesn’t say hello, or ask him how he’s doing.

‘all the time, Jongin.’

‘I’m dating someone new. His name is Sehun. I don’t think I love him yet, but I might, soon. Have you found anyone Soo?’ Jongin asks, with a slight slur in his voice.

‘have you been drinking, Jongin?’ Jongin makes a slight noise in agreement and Kyungsoo sighs. ‘call me in the morning , if you’re sober and actually want to talk to me.’ Kyungsoo hangs up and stares at his phone for a long time, before he falls back asleep.

He doesn’t get a call in the morning.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo wakes up a week after the phone call, and he feels okay. He still misses Jongin, of course, but he’s not completely crushed by Jongin leaving him. He gets up on Saturday, and goes to the market with his Mom. He looks around, no longer seeing Jongin everywhere they ever went together. He doesn’t see Jongin talking to the crabs in the tank, and picking up obscure vegetables to play with them. He doesn’t see Jongin holding his hand while they walk through.

Instead, Kyungsoo feels content with his mom, shopping like they used to before Jongin was ever there.

When Kyungsoo gets home from the market, he goes upstairs and looks around his room that he hasn’t changed since Jongin left. Jongin’s things, photos of them together, and things that Jongin bought him decorate the walls, and sit on his desk.

He walks out to his mother, and asks her for a box, going back upstairs and starting to put all of his things away. He leaves out one photo, a polaroid they took on their first date, and shoves the box of things into his closet.

One day, this stuff will be important to him, Kyungsoo thinks. His first love, all the stuff, the photos and stuffed toys, and the memories go into the box, and get put away. Like Jongin said, he’s sure that one day they’ll look back and laugh, and talk about what was. Until then, a photo on his wall would remind him of how he felt, and how he would again. He puts on a playlist, and moves his furniture around the room, changing the way it was. New period of his life, new room decoration, Kyungsoo thought to himself.

He’ll be okay. He already is.

 


	2. one (well two) taught me patience

**Jongdae**

 At some point after the Kim Jongin Incident of Sophomore Year, Ryeowook convinces Kyungsoo to join the school choir in their junior year. It’s nice, Kyungsoo enjoys singing and he gets to do it in a place where other people also can sing, and they appreciate it.

He makes new friends, including Kim Junmyeon, who Kyungsoo didn’t realise was in Choir, and more importantly, Kim Jongdae. Kim Jongdae is a senior, about 8 months older than Kyungsoo, a Virgo, and importantly nothing like Kim Jongin, despite their fairly similar names.

Kim Jongdae is loud and obnoxious, Kyungsoo thinks the first time they meet. Jongdae was talking about the new BIGBANG album with one of the other girls in choir, and how he hated it compared to their last album. The girl (who Kyungsoo later learned was named Park Sooyoung) argued just as hard back, and Kyungsoo suddenly had the most respect for her out of everyone in the room. Jongdae gave up the argument after Kyungsoo was introduced to everyone, but it definitely wouldn’t be the last time Jongdae got into an argument with the choir kids, including Kyungsoo.

 He doesn’t like it at first, preferring to sit in quiet then to hear Jongdae making stupid noises and talking _all_ the time. They become hesitant friends, when Ryeowook starts dating some girl from his after-school music lessons, and Kyungsoo doesn’t have anyone to hang out with. So, they start hanging out after school, taking turns choosing an album for the other to listen to, and discussing them. They also spend a fair amount of time with Junmyeon, gossiping about the other kids in their class, who they’re dating and who they think are the gay kids in their class. There aren’t many of them, but Kyungsoo is sure it’s more than just Kyungsoo and Junmyeon, in a class of almost a hundred kids.

 

* * *

 

A month after they start hanging out, they are sitting in the band room talking about the latest albums and their opinions on them when Jongdae asks Kyungsoo on a date. Kyungsoo almost falls out of his chair and asks Jongdae if he’s sure that’s what he wants.

Jongdae laughs, and Kyungsoo asks him if he’s really into guys, because Jongdae has never talked about being interested in boys, even when Kyungsoo has made comments, and admitted his crushes on movie stars and Kim Junmyeon. Jongdae tells Kyungsoo that he’s bi, and that he’s been hesitant to talk about it because society’s requirement to fit people into boxes doesn’t really suit him. he’s not just straight, or just gay, and didn’t want people to categorise him as such.

Kyungsoo understands a little bit and remembers back to when him and Jongin were dating, and how people kept asking who wore the pants, and who topped, even though him and Jongin had never had sex. He tells Jongdae as much and agrees to going on a date as long as it’s not to a movie nor an ice cream place, and Jongdae laughs.

Kyungsoo asks if he’s the first boy Jongdae’s had a crush on. he says no, and shyly explains that he’d had a crush on Junmyeon since their first year of high school. He’d only recently gotten over it, when Kyungsoo joined choir and he realised that he liked Kyungsoo instead.

 

* * *

 

 

They go much slower than Kyungsoo’s first relationship. Kyungsoo is hesitant after the way him and Jongin had ended, that he didn’t want to rush into anything too quickly. He wasn’t upset about Jongin anymore, but he was worried that a new relationship would end badly. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure he could take the anxiety that came with moving too fast, and the depression that Kyungsoo knew would come if it ended too soon.

After a month of hanging out after school almost every day, going on dates every now and again, they officially started dating. They told few people, and given neither Jongdae nor Kyungsoo were that popular, the news of their relationship stayed within the choir members, Ryeowook, and a few of Kyungsoo’s drama friends.

Kyungsoo likes that he isn’t like Jongin. Kyungsoo is comforted by Jongdae talking, texting Kyungsoo a lot, and telling him about his feelings. Jongdae would tell Kyungsoo if his family was moving away and give him the time to process it. Honestly, Jongdae wouldn’t be able to _not_ tell Kyungsoo if he was leaving. Jongdae was good for Kyungsoo, he thought.

 

* * *

 

 

Two months since they had become officially boyfriends, Kyungsoo realised how much of a mistake he had made by deciding to date Jongdae.

It was a Thursday afternoon, and Kyungsoo was studying alone in the library, trying to make up the grades that had slid since he had started going on dates with Jongdae.

He had gone down the class rankings by at least five places since he’d been dating Jongdae, and he wanted to catch up before his senior year, to make sure that he would get offered a place at the University of Seoul.

So he was studying at the library, when Jongdae appeared, sitting down at the empty spot at the table across from him.

‘babe, you disappeared!’

‘I just wanted to study, my grades have slipped heaps.’ Kyungsoo tells him, before wondering how Jongdae had found him. he asks the older boy as much.

‘Oh, I added you on find my friends.’ Kyungsoo doesn’t stop to realise how weird it was that Jongdae had managed this without saying anything to Kyungsoo, but he certainly realises later when he’s laying in bed trying to work out how to break up with him (spoiler alert: Kyungsoo can’t think of a way without sounding like a total dick, so he calls Ryeowook).

 

* * *

 

 

The next week, with no resolution to the ‘Jongdae Problem’ as Kyungsoo had begun to refer to it in his head, he met up with Jongdae for a date at the park. Coincidentally, the park him and Jongin had started dating in. Kyungsoo immediately realises that he is _not_ over Jongin like he’d thought and needed to think about it.

They sit on the swings (where Kyungsoo asked Jongin if he liked him (fuck, Kyungsoo!!)) and chat about school, Kyungsoo staring at the houses across the street while Jongdae tells him about how one of the girls from drama club had a crush on Junmyeon, and how Junmyeon had shut her down hard.

‘are you paying attention to me?’ Jongdae asks Kyungsoo, in the middle of his story, looking towards Kyungsoo, who is still not paying attention. It takes a second, before Kyungsoo realises Jongdae had stopped talking and asked him a question.

‘yeah, sorry, I was just thinking.’ Jongdae rolls his eyes and continues telling the story.

 

* * *

 

 

Jongdae was one of the nicest people Kyungsoo had _ever_ met. He regularly brought food that his mom had made and shared them with Kyungsoo and other members of the choir, and when he worked out what Kyungsoo liked best, he brought them for Kyungsoo’s lunch at least once a week.

Kyungsoo felt awful for wanting to break up with Jongdae. He’s such a sweet boy, who considers everyone before himself almost always.

But he’s also fucking loud. And talkative. Most of the time they hung out, nowadays, Kyungsoo was annoyed that Jongdae wouldn’t shut up. whether he was singing to himself, humming, talking excessively to fill silence, or making stupid noises for whatever reason, Kyungsoo liked him, he really did but good god did he want Jongdae to shut up and be quiet for more than a couple of seconds at a time. So he called Ryeowook and told him about his predicament.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Jongdae any more or didn’t find him attractive. He still looked at him down the hallway and thought about how cute he was the last time they were making out in the back of Jongdae’s mom’s car, Kyungsoo told his friend over the phone.

‘gross, I really didn’t need to know that.’ Ryeowook interjects.

‘oh, shut up, I wasn’t finished talking.’ Kyungsoo scolds his friend and continues to tell him about how much he likes him, but also how needy and frustrating Jongdae could be every now and again.

After his conversation with Ryeowook, he didn’t feel any better about breaking up with him, and especially didn’t have any sort of plan to break up with the other boy without hurting him, so Kyungsoo stayed quiet, silently dealing with the feeling deep down that wanted to strangle Jongdae until he shut up forever, but also still have him there.

 

* * *

 

And then Jongdae surprises him a week later and breaks up with Kyungsoo. Jongdae explains that Kyungsoo was too cold, for Jongdae to date him long-term. Kyungsoo just didn’t understand him, wasn’t supportive like Jongdae needed, and couldn’t talk about his feelings the way Jongdae wanted to.

Kyungsoo supposes it’s good they broke up now. They absolutely never would have lasted long term, past high school, he thinks to himself. He also realises that he was still a little emotionally stunted from Jongin, as much as he hated to admit it. He didn’t want to be too close to anyone, in case they broke his heart, which was fine, but it didn’t leave him open to find the one who would truly make him happy and last.

He’s sad about it for a little while, especially when he looks down the hall and sees Jongdae, and they smile at each other. They go back to their usual banter in the choir room pretty quickly after they break up, being friendly and gossiping with Junmyeon like nothing had ever happened.

Jongdae starts dating a girl in the year below Kyungsoo a couple of months later, and Kyungsoo doesn’t find himself upset by it. Instead, he wishes them well and decides that he doesn’t want to date anyone new until University, and that’s that.  

 

**Baekhyun**

In Kyungsoo’s first semester of freshman year at his new university, Kyungsoo moves into a shared apartment with someone he met online. Kim Woobin was three years older than him, and in his junior year of university. He cooks for Woobin, and they watch movies together, and in the space of the two weeks before classes start, they become very good friends. Woobin is majoring in Theatre, and Kyungsoo doubling in Music and Theatre, so besides their shared apartment, they also see each other all over campus. Kyungsoo is introduced to a few of his friends, and eventually gets to recognise most of the people in their classes.

So on the first day of his Music Theory I class, Kyungsoo spots a boy across the lecture hall that he hadn’t seen before and was immediately surprised. He was pretty, Kyungsoo noticed, with dark hair that fell just over his eyes, and the skinniest jeans that Kyungsoo had seen on anyone, including the type that Jongin used to wear.

He asks Woobin later and finds that the boy’s name is Byun Baekhyun. He’s friends with a few people that Woobin knows, and only arrived on campus the day before, which explained why Kyungsoo hadn’t seen him around. Kyungsoo finds himself wanting to know more about Byun Baekhyun, even though they had not even made eye contact across the lecture hall yet.

 

* * *

 

Four weeks into the class, the professor announces that their final project of the semester is a group project, and that their partners are already chosen. The pairs would be announced the next week, the professor tells them, and Kyungsoo sighs. He’s stressing about who his partner is going to be, he’s met most of the kids in this class and knows full well that they aren’t going to do much for the project. Kyungsoo only hopes that he gets a good student, someone willing to do the work, and someone who he gets along with.

The professor tells them that they will be expected to write a 10,000-word presentation on current composer. The grading criteria are strict, they’re told, and the students are expected to meet up at least twice a week, to write their presentation together. Kyungsoo sighs, and writes down the requirements of their project, before the professor dismisses them until the next week.

 

* * *

 

 

When his name is called out the next lecture, along with Byun Baekhyun’s, he isn’t sure whether to be happy or worried. He’s sure that Baekhyun will be fine, from all he’s seen, Baekhyun is loud and talkative but gets his work done, and to a high standard.

Kyungsoo instead, is worried about how he’s going to survive the last seven weeks of class meeting up with Byun Baekhyun on a bi-weekly basis. He hasn’t stopped being low-key obsessed with the other boy, over the past month of classes. Instead, Kyungsoo found himself looking across the lecture hall to the other boy, and more than a few times, being caught by Baekhyun and his friends.

The first time Baekhyun had caught him looking, he blushed and looked away. The times after, Baekhyun became increasingly more flirtatious, and even teasing. Kyungsoo had a tally in the back of his book for how many times the other boy had winked at him, waved, and even mouthed something to the smaller boy.

Kyungsoo was nervous to approach Baekhyun after their lecture, so when the other boy had walked towards him, Kyungsoo sighed in relief. Baekhyun was taller than he expected, but not by much, and he looked particularly good.

It was at this moment that he realised he was in trouble.

‘Hey, Kyungsoo, right? Taemin was right, you are really cute.’ Kyungsoo blushed and looked down at the carpeted floor of the lecture hall.

‘and you’re Baekhyun.’ Kyungsoo answers, avoiding eye contact.

‘I was thinking that we could meet in my room, or in yours. I’m not allowed in the library anymore.’

‘why?’

‘I’m too loud.’ Kyungsoo lets out a laugh, wondering what Baekhyun could have done to get permanently kicked out of the library. Kyungsoo wonders if he could sneak him in, as a date one time. And then Kyungsoo realises that he’d referred to him and Baekhyun hanging out as a date, and he sighs again.

‘what are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?’

‘I was wondering how one gets kicked out of the library permanently just by being loud?’

‘one stands on a table and yells across the library to a friend about a boy they slept with the night before.’ Kyungsoo’s eyes widen as he looks across Baekhyun’s face for any signs that he’s joking. He isn’t. ‘he wouldn’t tell me. And he was fine with it, I wouldn’t have just outed him like that.’

‘which one of the boys who sit with you is gay?’

‘we all are. The one I was talking about though is Kris. The tall one with the eyebrows’ Kyungsoo nods, remembering the boy Baekhyun was talking about.

 

* * *

 

 

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo fall in a comfortable pattern of flirty friendship over the next few weeks of their assignment. They spend four hours together each week, two completing the assignment, and the other two complaining about life and dating.

Well, Baekhyun complains about dating. Kyungsoo listens intently and pretends to know what proper ‘dating’ is like, because his first two boyfriends happened by total accident, and Kyungsoo believes that if both Jongin and Jongdae hadn’t made the first moves, they never would have happened in the first place.

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun fits perfectly into the sweet spot between Jongin, and Jongdae. He’s not too quiet, which Kyungsoo liked in Jongin at the time, but grew to despise after they broke up. He also wasn’t as clingy and needy as Jongdae had been in high school, when he would want to spend every second with Kyungsoo, and every second they were apart, texting.

Kyungsoo liked this a lot about Baekhyun. He wasn’t too much and left the younger boy to himself when he wanted to be. Baekhyun seemed to be able to pick up on social cues, and especially ‘Kyungsoo’s cues’ (as Baekhyun had once called it), something that his first two boyfriends had been unable to do so well. Ryeowook was good at it too, and Kyungsoo wondered why Baekhyun was so good at it when he had only known Kyungsoo for a short amount of time. Kyungsoo pretends not to feel jealous, as Baekhyun manages to worm his way into everyone’s hearts within a ten-mile radius, including the front desk girl at their favourite ramen place, and the straight boy that works on the campus coffee shop.

Kyungsoo just doesn’t understand how he does it, and more importantly, how he’s managed to do it to Kyungsoo in such a short amount of time.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo surprises himself the next week, when during one of their studying sessions in Baekhyun’s apartment, he asks Baekhyun out on a date. Asks is a strong word, really, he just coughs out suddenly and then says ‘date on Saturday?’ Baekhyun, also surprisingly laughs and agrees, then tells Kyungsoo that he was wondering if he was going to ask him out, and then he goes back to writing his section of the essay that’s due in five weeks.

 

* * *

 

It’s a really easy pattern to fall into, dating Baekhyun. Baekhyun reads him incredibly well and shows up at Kyungsoo’s apartment when he’s not feeling great, and gets him coffee before his Thursday class because the taller boy knows Kyungsoo will fall asleep without it.

They eat together on campus and go to restaurants nearby in their free time. They spend a large amount of time in the local library (that Baekhyun HASN’T been kicked out of), studying and writing their assignment, but also taking books out of the shelves and reading passages in stupid voices, trying to make the other laugh.

(they eventually get banned from this library too, which only makes them try far more frequently to break into the one on campus.)

 

* * *

 

 

they submit their assignment on the last week of the semester, and predictably, they get an A, the highest in the class, and their professor even asks if he can use it as an example for the next semester’s kids.

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, also predictably, spend the semester break in Kyungsoo’s apartment. Woobin went home for the holiday, so the couple spend all three weeks in the small apartment. Kyungsoo makes dinner every night, and Baekhyun sits on the kitchen bench, distracting him with innocent kisses, and also not so innocent kisses.

 (Kyungsoo only ruins one pot, almost setting fire to the entire kitchen one night when Baekhyun plays dirty and hooks his ankles around Kyungsoo’s hips and pulls him in for a kiss and doesn’t let him go until the stove was on fire.)

They eat dinner in front of the TV, watching movies that the other one hasn’t seen, and binge-watching Netflix shows until they pass out, or far more often, can’t keep their hands off each other and retreat to Kyungsoo’s bedroom.

 

* * *

 

At some point, about eight months in, the honeymoon phase of Kyungsoo and Baekhyun’s relationship starts to wear off, and Baekhyun begins to try ‘spice things up’ (in Baekhyun’s words), by going out for dinner more often, and going to parties.

Kyungsoo, in all his fairly introverted glory, hates this. He understands every now and again, going out for dinner is fine. The museum, the aquarium, anything like that, he loves. He gets to stay mostly silent and reflective, walking around and looking at stuff. He doesn’t even mind going to the bookstore every now and again, and drinking coffee while reading books he isn’t ever going to buy.

But it’s not what Baekhyun wants to do. Baekhyun wants to go clubbing, and drink until he’s almost stumbling over on the way home to his or Kyungsoo’s apartment. he wants to hang out with his big group of friends on campus and laugh and joke with them for hours on end, and Kyungsoo just doesn’t.

It’s not that Kyungsoo doesn’t like having friends, nor that he doesn’t like to spend time with his friends, but Baekhyun’s friends specifically? Kinda.

They’re loud, like Baekhyun, and some of them are far worse at reading people than even Kyungsoo, which is really saying something.

Kris, for example, didn’t stop hitting on Kyungsoo since the moment Baekhyun introduced him as ‘the boy who stares at us in Music Theory.’ They had become boyfriends not long after, but Kris continued to hit on him.

And then Taeyeon, a girl Baekhyun had dated before he came out, was still completely obsessed with him, even though it was _years_ later, and Baekhyun had dated other people after her. Every time Baekhyun was even slightly romantic, or touched Kyungsoo at all, he would receive a glare from across the table.

The others were just as bad. Except for Minho. Kyungsoo couldn’t dislike him no matter how hard he tried. So Kyungsoo would prefer to eat by himself or hang out with Baekhyun and Baekhyun alone for lunch. He preferred to stay at home and watch Black Mirror, or the latest drama than to go the local student bar, or a house party where he knew a total of three people, and Baekhyun would disappear talking to everyone.

 

* * *

 

At the third house party of the month, which Baekhyun had dragged him to, unaware of what was coming, Kyungsoo is standing against the wall of someone’s house he doesn’t know, drinking a cup of water and wondering why the fuck he’s there. He’s not enjoying himself, standing awkwardly in a room of drunk people he doesn’t know, and doesn’t care to. Baekhyun was off somewhere, drinking away, and chatting to what feels like the entire party’s worth of people.

Kyungsoo stands up properly, throws his now empty cup in the trash and just walks out of the house. His apartment isn’t _that_ far away, he could walk it in an hour and a bit and could think on the way home about all the good things he likes about Baekhyun, and why this could work out for him.

 

* * *

 

Except he was wrong, because when he finally gets to his apartment, Baekhyun is sitting on the couch waiting for him, holding a glass of wine, and clearly a little tipsy.

‘Finally, you’re here.’ Baekhyun turns off the tv, puts his glass down on the table and pats the couch next to him. ‘why did you leave the party?’ Kyungsoo hesitantly walks over and sits down next to his boyfriend.

‘you were too busy with everyone, and I was standing there not knowing anyone, while you were off talking and dancing. I wasn’t having a good time, so I left. How did you even notice that I wasn’t there anymore?’

‘you can’t expect me to stay with you the entire time. I have friends, Kyungsoo, I know you’re antisocial and don’t talk to anyone but Woobin, and Ryeowook, but I want to talk to other people besides you, as hard as that is for you to believe.’

‘that’s not what I asked, how did you notice?’ Kyungsoo asks his boyfriend, and Baekhyun sighs, picking up his glass and chugging the rest before answering him.

‘Kris told me you walked out.’

‘see, Baekhyun, you’re so blind to what’s going on around you. I’ve repeatedly told you, that I didn’t want to go out clubbing, or to house parties. And you haven’t listened, not even once.’ Kyungsoo stops for a second.  ‘I’ve told you why I hate them, why I don’t want to be that person. and clearly, you didn’t listen at all. What else have you downright ignored about me?’

‘I have listened, Kyungsoo! You told me you weren’t the best at making friends, that you don’t drink since that one night your ex called you and then didn’t call you back. I get it, but I tried, Kyungsoo! I though house parties would be better, more chill so you don’t freak out. But that didn’t work out, clearly.’ Baekhyun gets up to pour himself another glass of wine and walks towards the kitchen bench where he left the half open bottle. Kyungsoo follows him.

‘you dragged me to a random stranger’s house, with literally no one I know. How would I enjoy that?’ Kyungsoo asked Baekhyun, and instead of pouring himself a glass, Baekhyun takes a swig from the bottle. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and takes the bottle out of Baekhyun’s hand as he was drinking it, and pours it down the sink.

‘what the _fuck,_ Soo? I was drinking that!’ Baekhyun yells. Kyungsoo stays silent, looking around the room at anything but Baekhyun. ‘Kyungsoo, I’m really trying here. I want it to be like when we started dating, but you’ve become so boring and comfortable just sitting at home. That’s not going to work forever.’

‘is that what you think, Baekhyun? I’ve tried accommodating you, I don’t understand why suddenly you want to be out clubbing and getting wasted each weekend. I don’t want that, I thought you knew me better than this. Get out, I don’t think this is going to work anymore.’ Baekhyun looks up at Kyungsoo, genuinely surprised that he’d broken up with him.

‘don’t you think we should talk?’ Baekhyun asks.

‘no. please leave, Baekhyun, I need to be alone for a little while.’  Baekhyun grabs his coat and begins to walk out. ‘you didn’t drive here, did you?’

‘no, I got a cab.’

‘good. I’ll see you around, Baekhyun.’

‘I can’t believe you, Kyungsoo. You’re so far up your own ass, you don’t care about anyone else. I’ve tried, so hard to make this relationship work, and you haven’t done anything. It seems like I’m the only one who cares, so I’ll leave, but you need to realise that the fucking world doesn’t revolve around you, Kyungsoo. Not everyone is going to look after you, and help you like I’ve tried to. I hope I don’t see you around, you’re a dick.’ Baekhyun storms out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

 Kyungsoo flops down on the sofa, a little shell shocked, thinking over what Baekhyun had said. He ultimately ignores it, laying down and turning on the tv to watch an old movie he used to watch as a kid. He falls asleep there.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, he wakes up and makes himself breakfast, ignoring the box of Baekhyun’s favourite cereal on the shelf next to his, and the milk in the fridge that Baekhyun had bought a few days ago because Kyungsoo had run out four days ago and hadn’t bothered replacing it.

He goes to the library, something he hadn’t done in a fair while, and works on an assignment he hadn’t started that was due sometime in the next week.

It doesn’t hit him properly until two days later, when he opens his phone to text Baekhyun to ask what he’s doing that night, and if he wants to get ramen. He doesn’t text him, of course, but he does wonder what would happen if he did, and whether Baekhyun would text him back, or if he was still too mad.

It’s about another day later when Kyungsoo realises how fucking selfish he had been the entire relationship, and how he should have made more of an effort, but it was too late now, and he would just have to learn for the next time.

(Kyungsoo questions whether he was too late, but remembering Baekhyun calling him a dick, he thinks he probably shouldn’t poke the sleeping Baekhyun, and leave their dead relationship in the past.)

 

* * *

 

Kyungsoo realises he should have known that him and Baekhyun wouldn’t have ever worked out, when their dynamic in the beginning had been far more like his and Ryeowook’s, than his and either Jongin or Jongdae’s.

He and Baekhyun were friends. From the start, Kyungsoo really should have realised that they make incredible friends, but not so good anything else. Especially when two weeks later, Baekhyun bounces into Kyungsoo’s apartment (with his spare key that Baekhyun never gave back) with a coffee the exact way Kyungsoo likes it, and a blueberry muffin, and tells Kyungsoo that he’s going on a date with someone new on the weekend, and asks him for his opinion on his outfit.

-

His name is Kim Minseok, and they met in one of Baekhyun’s other classes, and he has a lot of hot friends that Kyungsoo could date, Baekhyun tells him, and shudders a little thinking about dating anyone in the next couple of months. He needs time to get over the trauma that is Baekhyun, even if they are friends again.

Kyungsoo picks his favourite button up for Baekhyun to wear on his date, and a pair of skinny jeans that Baekhyun almost never takes off. Kyungsoo tries not to think about the last time Baekhyun had worn that outfit and had ended up in Kyungsoo’s bed before the date had even started. Kyungsoo shakes the thought and fixes Baekhyun’s hair, before sending him off on his date.

 

* * *

 

Later, while Kyungsoo is watching a movie, his phone beeps and he opens the text from Baekhyun, to see a picture of Baekhyun and the dude he supposes is Minseok, holding martini glasses and smiling at the camera.

‘Thanks for the outfit help, he loved it!’ the text read, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at his ex-boyfriend. Kyungsoo congratulates him, silently judging him a little, and turning off his phone before Baekhyun texts him back.

They go to get lunch at their favourite ramen place on campus, the next week, getting back into their usual schedule. It’s a little weird, without the footsie under the table, and sharing dishes, but Kyungsoo thinks he’ll get used to it. Everything is fine, and Kyungsoo thinks that maybe the next one (hopefully not one of Minseok’s friends) will last a little longer.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that took like 3 and a half years, sorry, but here have this part. i have an excuse, promise. I went to italy with uni for two weeks, and then as soon as i got back, i was moving out. i hope you like it, leave me comments about who you think the next part is about or something! love u!!!


	3. one taught me pain

 

In his second year of university, Baekhyun and Minseok move in together, much to the dismay of Kyungsoo. See, Woobin had decided to move in to an apartment with his girlfriend, and when Kyungsoo discussed this with  Baekhyun, he’d told Kyungsoo that he’d move in almost immediately.

A month later, when the room next to his had been empty for a month, and Baekhyun started packing his things, Minseok’s roommate moved out, and Baekhyun decided to live there instead.

Now, Kyungsoo was forced to get a tiny studio apartment on his own.

He likes it, he really does. Not being forced to spend time with anyone, no being sexiled, or complaints about Kyungsoo watching movies late into the night and making any sort of noise. But he misses it, Woobin taking up space in the kitchen while he’s trying to cook, and commentary on his movies from behind him as Woobin did homework on  the kitchen counter.

He adjusts to this by inviting Baekhyun over to his apartment far more than he had before, even when they were together.

Of course, now that they aren’t having sex on every surface of the apartment,  Baekhyun finds other ways to connect with Kyungsoo. Which now involves setting him up with his friends.

Kyungsoo tries to explain to Baekhyun, how he likes to be alone, but Baekhyun doesn’t understand.  He has never spent time on his own, bouncing from boyfriend to boyfriend to boyfriend, and eventually settling on Minseok, which was still going strong after almost six months.

When he comes over that Friday, Baekhyun comes in with Minseok in tow, putting their dinner down on the small table, and sitting uncomfortably close to Kyungsoo on the couch, which can only mean bad things. Kyungsoo gives him a small frown, and looks towards Minseok, who shrugs and gives him a small smile. Oh no, Kyungsoo thinks, and resigns himself to the shenanigans that Baekhyun is about to cause.

 

‘so there’s this boy at Minseokie’s gym, and I think you’ll really like him.’

‘you know last week when you set me up with Lu Han? That didn’t work out so well.’

‘okay but I’m right this time.’

‘is this why you were asking what my type is on Wednesday?’

‘no?’ Kyungsoo looks away from him and resigns himself, knowing he can’t say no to Baekhyun or else he’ll be upset at him for the next 3 months.

‘fine. Tell me about him, Minseok, not Baekhyun, because I don’t trust you anymore.’ Baekhyun pouts and opens his phone, presumably to find some photos.

‘he’s a dance student, pretty ripped because gyms with me. He’s really tall, Baekhyun told me you were into that. Kinky. Oh, and he’s just as screwed up and emotionally constipated as you are.’

‘thanks.’

‘Minseokie wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true. Anyway, here’s a photo, look at his face isn’t he like, a model?’ Kyungsoo looks at the photo and is I’mpressed that Minseok would even know a dude as hot as him.

‘what’s his name?’

‘Oh Sehun.’ Baekhyun answers. The name sounds familiar in his head, and I’mmediately alarm bells go off, but Kyungsoo ignores them, handing the phone back to his friend.

‘fine, I’ll go on a date, but don’t expect anything.’

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo arrives at the restaurant first, and goes to sit down at the table. He reads the menu over, avoiding eye contact with the waiter so he doesn’t come over and ask if Kyungsoo is eating alone. he’s not embarrassed, necessarily, he has just gotten so used to eating out with Baekhyun, and his few other friends, that sitting alone in the restaurant felt weird. Until Sehun walked in, and Kyungsoo recognised him I’mmediately. He is _tall_ , and wearing a proper suit. He walks up to the table and smiles, sitting down and greeting Kyungsoo. Even sitting down, Sehun is still towering over him, and Kyungsoo I’mmediately sits up straight, fiddling with his button down. 

‘sorry I’m late, my friend is doing a photography project and I was modelling. Ran over time. Have you ordered?’ Kyungsoo thinks about how this boy is a literal model, here wearing a suit, and cant stop thinking about how underdressed he is. He’s wearing his usual sweater, and skinny jeans from four years ago that he still owns, and that still fit him.

‘no, I was waiting.’ Sehun nods and picks up the menu, looking through it.

‘oh, I forgot. I’m Oh Sehun,’

‘I’m Do Kyungsoo, it’s nice to meet you.’

‘have we met before? You’re familiar, but I’m not sure why.’

‘I don’t think so?’

‘oh okay. Lets get food and we can have a chat.’

 

* * *

 

 

They spend the next ten minutes trying to work out how they know each other. They flirt a little, and at some point Sehun touches Kyungsoo’s hand and he almost knocks his drink off the table.

 

About halfway through dinner, Sehun stops eating, and looks strangely at Kyungsoo before he asks if he knew someone called Kim Jongin and Kyungsoo’s heart sinks. He nods shyly, and realises why he’s heard the name Sehun before.

‘we dated in sophomore year.’ Sehun nods and sighs.

‘Jongin and I dated for three years, we only broke up before first year started.’

‘why?’

‘why what?’

‘why did you break up?’

‘Jongin went on a gap year after we graduated, and he didn’t want to date long distance.’

‘huh.’

‘what?’

‘he said that to me when we broke up. he didn’t want to date someone long distance and watch our relationship die slowly.’ Sehun starts laughing, and Kyungsoo frowns, not understanding what was funny.

‘its just, this isn’t really a first date conversation. Kyungsoo lets out an amused huff.

‘it really isn’t.’

 

* * *

 

Kyungsoo and Sehun spend the rest of the night talking about their ex’s, until the waiter comes to the table and tells them that they have to leave, because its closing time.

‘This has been really fun, but I think we should just stay friends. It would be too weird to get involved.’

‘yeah, of course. Wanna get dinner with Baekhyun, Minseok and I on Tuesday night? We usually go back to my apartment and watch movies.’

‘sure.’

 

* * *

 

 

That night, Kyungsoo couldn’t help but think about Jongin and Sehun. He wonders if they ended up dating just because they went to school together, and whether it was the same for Jongin and him. H wonders what would have happened if Jongin had stayed at his school for the last two years of high school.

He wonders if they had stayed together, would they have broken up again later, like him and Sehun had.

He also cant help but feel uneasy in his stomach, jealousy, he remembers from early on in his and Jongin’s relationship. He didn’t feel jealous when Jongdae or Baekhyun were close to other boys, but with Jongin, his stomach turned every time he spent long periods of time with anyone but himself.

Kyungsoo also thinks about how unworthy he was, of Kim Jongin. Sehun was _beautiful_ , and Kyungsoo is just, eh, he thinks. His hair is weird, and falling down his forehead, because he hasn’t cut it since he and Baekhyun started dating, he’s short, and recently, he’s been told repeatedly that he looks like an owl when he wears his glasses.

He turns over in bed, and ignores the thoughts flying a million miles hour across his brain.

 

* * *

 

 

It turns out, that Sehun did actually want to be his friend, and Kyungsoo doesn’t know why. He seems so cool on campus, cold and not really caring about anyone, and simultaneously having more friends than Kyungsoo has even met.

He seemed to know everyone, and more and more often, people would recognise Kyungsoo too, and say hi as he was walking to class, or eating with Baekhyun and his other friends.

Sehun also starts taking him to the gym, and he quickly loses the pudge on his stomach, and develops muscle definition in his arms. He’s never been more fit in his life, and it shows by the number of girls, and few boys, who have come up to him and asked him out. He says no to all the girls, and gives hesitant maybes to the boys, wanting to stay single for a while.

He hooks up with someone he isn’t dating for the first time in his life. He tells Baekhyun and Sehun about it the next morning over coffee, and Kyungsoo can’t believe how much he has changed in such a short time.

‘It’s Sehun’s influence on you, SooSoo. It’s good for you.’ Kyungsoo cant help but agree to his friend, smiling and finishing the rest of his coffee. He’s in a good mood for the rest of the day, so Sehun and Baekhyun tell him about a party that’s on that night, and Kyungsoo agrees to go.

(Baekhyun and Sehun are as shocked as Kyungsoo is, but he figures now he’s a bit more confident, he could have fun)

Kyungsoo puts on a loose sweater, jeans and his sneakers, 20 minutes before Baekhyun and Sehun arrive to go to the party that night. When he hears the door, he grabs his wallet and phone, and shove them in his pocket and open the door.

‘you’re not wearing that.’

‘what?’

‘this wont do, let me look at your closet.’ Baekhyun pushes past Kyungsoo and goes straight to his wardrobe, looking through. Kyungsoo is still stunned, standing by the door. He gives Sehun a look, as if to ask if he’s really going to let Baekhyun do this. Sehun shrugs, and follows Baekhyun into the wardrobe.

‘none of this will do.’ Baekhyun sighs as he stops swiping through his wardrobe.

‘that’s it, I’ve changed my mind I’m not coming.’

‘you agreed, you told me you were coming, don’t let me down, Soo.’

‘oh shut up, Sehun. Fine.’ Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at Baekhyun and Sehun, and they look between each other.

‘do you have anything?’ Sehun asks Baekhyun, and he nods. They close the door to the wardrobe and start walking back to the door.

‘wait what is happening?’

‘we’re going back to my place because I have clothes for you to wear, and you don’t.’

‘these are all MY clothes, they are all clothes I can wear?’

‘not good ones, Kyungsoo. You need to look hot. I want you to look so good I regret us breaking up.’ Kyungsoo blushes. Sehun nods again, seemingly agreeing with Baekhyun.

 

* * *

 

They dress him in an outfit that Kyungsoo deems scandalous, and they both look at him with a look in their eye that Kyungsoo doesn’t even recognise.

‘I don’t like my arms being so exposed.’

‘its just a muscle shirt, Kyungsoo, It’s fine you look hot.’

‘so we can go now?’

‘let me just get some eyeliner and highlighter.’

‘no makeup, Baekhyun.’

(Kyungsoo walks into the party wearing eyeliner AND highlighter, but its not because he didn’t protest)

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo realises that the downside to having friends like Baekhyun and Sehun, is that everyone knows him by proxy. He walks into the party, muscle shirt on, and eyes lined slightly, and everyone in the room turns to look at him.

‘hey, Kyungsoo, I didn’t think you would be here tonight. There’s soda in the fridge.’ Kyungsoo nods, and walks straight to the kitchen. He pours himself a cup of the bottle that was on the bench, and walks back into the lounge, coming up behind Baekhyun.

‘doesn’t he look pretty. I’ve already been there, but I would again if he was wearing this.’ Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at Baekhyun.

‘I’m just gonna be over there.’ Baekhyun pats Kyungsoo on the butt and laughs.

‘I’ll be back in a minute, guys, just getting Soo a drink and having a chat. Also. Have you seen Minseok?’ one of the girls standing in the centre of the room points to the back of the house, and said something about him being in the back room playing pool. Baekhyun nods, and drags Soo to the corner of the room. This would be Kyungsoo’s spot, if he’d come here before. He would have made a beeline for this corner and sat here complaining silently about Baekhyun dragging him to this party. He sighs knowing Baekhyun knows him so well.

Sehun sees them across the room from where he was dancing, and follows them into the corner.

‘Soo! You’re here, you look hot. Come on, have a good time.’

‘I’ll come dance for a little while, but I’m not drinking.’ Sehun and Baekhyun groan.

‘I need to go get myself a drink, I’ll be back. In the meantime, you dance with Sehun, and remember you’re not leaving until at least 12am’ Kyungsoo sighs, and Sehun drags him into the middle of the living room. Sehun and Kyungsoo dance, a bit awkwardly at first, including the people around them, and laughing. In the middle of a bad dance move competition between Kyungsoo and a girl from one of his drama classes, Baekhyun comes back, holding three red cups.

‘get distracted on the way Baek?’ Sehun grins, taking one of the cups.

‘shut up, Sehun. Anyway, this one doesn’t have any alcohol in it.’ Baekhyun hands the cup to Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo eyes it suspiciously. He sniffs it, smelling the faintest amount of alcohol, and sighs, before taking a sip. It doesn’t taste bad, and Kyungsoo decides he should probably just finish it, and have a ‘good time.’ Kyungsoo downs the rest and puts the cup down on a table near them.

‘I can’t believe you tried to trick me into drinking.’

‘you drank it though.’

‘yeah but I knew it was in there. What is that, anyway it was really good.’

‘let loose, Soo. We dated for six months, and you never drank, not once. I’ll look after you, promise.’ Kyungsoo sighs, and takes Sehun’s drink from his hand, downing that too. He knows Baekhyun will cave on making him drink after one time, so really Kyungsoo has to suffer through tonight and he’ll be fine for at least a couple of months.

 

* * *

 

And then, strangely, Kyungsoo realises that he’s not suffering, and is actually having fun. The Punch, which Baekhyun found in the kitchen, tasted delicious, and enough not like alcohol for it to slow him down at all. It’s easy to drink, and boy does Kyungsoo drink.

Around his sixth cup, Baekhyun disappears into the definitively bigger sea of people since they arrived. Sehun had been gone for a little while, and Kyungsoo decides with the drunk part of his brain, to go dance with Baekhyun

 

* * *

 

 

On the way, which turns out to be a far longer walk when you’re drunk and stopping to talk to people, Kyungsoo finds Sehun again, and drags him to Baekhyun in the middle of the room. Kyungsoo pulls Baekhyun into a hug as Soon as he finds him, and Baekhyun’s face goes from a look of surprise to a huge grin.

‘you’re drunk, huh Soo?’

‘no, what, I’m not drunk!’

‘lol, he’s really drunk.’ Sehun sniggers. Baekhyun pushes him on the shoulder, laughing.

‘you are too, Sehunnie.’ They all stare at each other for a second, before they start laughing together. They start dancing again, like earlier, Kyungsoo more loose and open, singing  and humming to whatever pop song was on. Sehun stops to stare at Kyungsoo, and realises that he likes him a little bit.

‘he’s cute, right?’ Baekhyun says, sending knowing looks between Sehun and Kyungsoo. Sehun nods, and Kyungsoo is off on his own world, dancing and laughing at the other people in the room.

 

* * *

 

 

Four hours later, somehow, at 2am, most of the people have left the party, and Soo has drank far more of the punch than he had planned on when he’d taken his first cup. They’re still dancing, Baekhyun, Sehun, and him, taking far more regular breaks to go to the bathroom and get more punch.

Minseok had joined them after Baekhyun had called him and told him to come inside. So the four of them, plus some others that Kyungsoo swore he knew from his classes were dancing in the middle of the room, laughing, hitting on each other jokingly.

 

* * *

 

 

At one point, Baekhyun starts grinding on Minseok to a sexy song that someone put on, and not to be outdone, drunk Kyungsoo pulls Sehun behind him and starts grinding. Sehun immediately grabs his hips, and leans his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Baekhyun sends him a look, and he rolls his eyes.

‘we should go back to my room.’ Kyungsoo mumbles to Sehun, who stops dancing, and turns Kyungsoo around to face him. Baekhyun stops dancing properly too, turning around to see what Kyungsoo was saying.

‘um, Soo, you know I think you’re hot and all, but you’re too drunk right now.’ Kyungsoo realises what Sehun had said and smacks him on the arm.

‘not like that, I just need to find a horizontal surface before I passed out, and I figured you would come too.’

‘oh. Okay, yeah that’s probably smart, it’s 3am.’  Sehun tries not to look disappointed as he and Soo stop dancing. They leave, along with Baekhyun and Minseok, before separating at Minseok’s on-campus apartment. Kyungsoo and Sehun walk the rest of the way to his apartment, taking far too long stumbling, and trying to carry each other on their backs.

Kyungsoo has to give his keys to Sehun to unlock the door, before they go in and Kyungsoo walks straight to his bed. He kicks off his shoes, before sliding off his jeans and the tank top, leaving him in his boxer-briefs, his sexiest ones that Baekhyun had insisted on him wearing.

Sehun walks in, holding two glasses of water, and seems surprised by an almost naked Kyungsoo sitting on his bed. Sehun puts one down on the bedside table, and one on the other.

‘are you okay with me sleeping here? I can take the couch, but it’ll be uncomfortable.’ Kyungsoo nods, and pulls the blankets down to signal to Sehun to get in. he quickly strips out of his clothes, leaving on his boxers and gets into the bed carefully, not to touch Kyungsoo.

As Soon as Sehun is in, Kyungsoo quickly scoots over to cuddle Sehun, and Sehun lets out a surprised laugh.

‘you’re far more  forward when you’re drunk.’ Kyungsoo makes a noise in agreement and wiggles around to find a comfy spot against Sehun.

 

* * *

 

 

They spend an hour talking, Kyungsoo drunk enough that he can speak openly about Baekhyun, about Jongin even, and he never worries about saying too much, like he usually does with people, and especially with Sehun, because of his history with Jongin.

During a particularly long discussion about Baekhyun and his’ relationship, Sehun leans over to Kyungsoo’s ear suddenly, and tells him he wants to kiss the smaller boy. Kyungsoo tells him that he wants to as well, and then Sehun’s lips are on his. Kyungsoo kisses back, pulling Sehun on top of him. Sehun settles between his legs, gripping the smaller boy’s cheeks carefully, pulling him closer.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo wakes up in the morning, with Sehun behind him, his arms wrapped around him and his lips against the back of Kyungsoo’s neck. Kyungsoo slowly turns  onto his back, and shuffling out of bed quickly to not wake Sehun. He blushes, looking at Sehun properly, and gets out of bed when Sehun groans and pulls Kyungsoo by the arm back into his bed. Kyungsoo turns to look at Sehun, who’s staring at him.

‘hi.’ Kyungsoo can’t help but think about how cute he is right now, with his morning voice, and still tired eyes. ‘do you remember last night?’ Kyungsoo nods, hesitantly, and looks away from Sehun. Sehun grabs his chin, and forces Soo to look at him.

‘are we pretending it didn’t happen, or…?’ Sehun asks.

‘you were the one who didn’t want to do this when we were first set up.’

‘I didn’t think it was smart to date my ex’s ex.’

‘oh, okay well ill get up and make breakfast, and we can pretend it never happened.’

‘Soo, no. last night was… intense. And I thought I was just drunk and thirsty, when I looked at you al night, and when we were dancing. But I’m not drunk anymore, and I still want you.’ Kyungsoo looks at him in the eyes for a second, determining Sehun’s honesty, before pulling him into a kiss.

 

* * *

 

 

A few months goes past, Kyungsoo and Sehun casually dating and hooking up, while they both focus on their studies and try to get to know each other.

It goes well, sort of, and they just decide to properly date, no nonsense and seeing other people when Sehun gets a call from Jongin.

He’s coming back in a  month, and has decided to study at Kyungsoo and Sehun’s university. They both pretend it doesn’t bother them, like it’s not really a big deal, that the boy who broke both of them for the longest time will be back in their lives, in such a short time too. Kyungsoo thinks he could deal with it, but he has absolutely no time to prepare himself before he physically walks into Jongin while Kyungsoo is getting coffee for Sehun.

‘Kyungsoo?’

‘oh, hey Jongin. Didn’t expect to see you so soon.’

‘how did you know I decided to come here?’

‘your ex, Sehun, is a good friend of mine.’

‘I’m glad you guys are friends, I always thought you would get along.’ Kyungsoo laughs and categorically doesn’t think about last night and how well they ‘got along’. Kyungsoo sighs when Jongin starts walking with him. ‘if you don’t mind, I was just about to go surprise Sehun at his dorm, so I might walk with you for a while.’

‘I was actually planning on going to see him too.’ Jongin gives him an odd look, trying to figure Kyungsoo out.

‘let’s walk together then, we can catch up.’

 

* * *

 

 

The conversation all the way over to Sehun’s dorm is awkward, and Kyungsoo can help but feel a little salty that his ex-boyfriend has just walked into his current boyfriend’s life and is pretending nothing happened between them. For that matter, Jongin isn’t even really acknowledging that he and Kyungsoo dated, and Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to respond to that.

On one hand, he would prefer to put that whole part of his life behind him, he already pretends that Jongin didn’t exist and cause him significant heartbreak when he was sixteen.

But also, he hates to see Jongin pretending like nothing happened, especially when he went to go on to hurt Sehun in the same way that Kyungsoo had been.

Jongin asks him if he dated anyone in the last two years of high school and Kyungsoo laughs.

‘yeah, Kim Jongdae, from choir.  Only for a couple of months.’

‘he’s gay?’

‘bi.’ Jongin nods and says nothing. It makes Kyungsoo uncomfortable.

 

* * *

 

 

They reach Sehun’s building, and take the stairs in silence up to the fourth floor. Kyungsoo pretends not to wonder why Jongin knows what room Sehun is in, but he knocks on the door anyway, and Sehun answers. He looks surprised to see them both, but lets them in anyway.

Kyungsoo immediately sits on Sehun’s bed, comfortably, and Jongin looks around the room carefully before sitting on his desk chair.

‘So, how did you two meet?’ Jongin asks them, surprisingly non-awkwardly.

‘My ex-boyfriend set us up on a date, and then we realised we both knew you.’

‘and then we started dating.’ Jongin looks shocked for a second, before regaining composure, and smiling at the two of them.

‘Kyungsoo didn’t tell me that. I’m happy for the two of you!’ Sehun gives Kyungsoo a side eye, and he knows he’s going to be on the receiving end of an argument later.

 

* * *

 

 

It hasn’t been going well with Sehun. With Jongin back, and around the university, Sehun had been spending an inordinate amount of time with him. He said they were friends, and Kyungsoo believes his boyfriend, but keeps his distance.

They get coffee on the next Thursday, and Sehun is unusually quiet. He’s usually pretty quiet, so it takes a while for Kyungsoo to notice how absent Sehun is. He’s staring out the window, rather than paying attention to Kyungsoo, even when he tries to talk to him.

‘How’s Jongin?’ Kyungsoo asks, trying to get Sehun to pay attention. It works, because Sehun turns to look directly at him, and gives him an almost evil glare.

‘are you really gonna ask me that?’ Sehun questions in absolute disbelief, as if he thinks Kyungsoo should have a different response. Kyungsoo doesn’t understand why Sehun is mad at him, so he continues his questioning.

‘you guys are friends, I figured you would be spending time together.’

‘He’s my ex-boyfriend, Kyungsoo, are you not going to tell me not to see him?’

‘why?’ Sehun sighs, and gets up from the table, throwing his coffee cup in the bin. He doesn’t answer Kyungsoo, and walks out the door seemingly without a second thought.

 

* * *

 

 

They fight again the next day, about Jongin again, and Sehun tries to bait him into getting angry, or making an effort. Kyungsoo doesn’t, and Sehun storms out again. Kyungsoo can’t help but wonder what he’s doing wrong.

 

* * *

 

 

Sehun shows up at Kyungsoo’s door two days later, and drags Kyungsoo to sit next to him on the sofa.

‘We need to talk.’

‘um, okay?’

‘Kyungsoo, I really care about you. I do. You’re cute, and sexy, and we share a sense of humour. I love that.’

‘uhhhh?’

‘I can’t continue to pretend that we’re happy together, when all we’ve done the last three months is fight. You want someone to sweep you off your feet, without putting in any effort to the relationship.’

‘does this have anything to do with Jongin?’

‘I would like to say it doesn’t, but it does. I haven’t cheated on you, I promise. But spending time with him again made me realise why I loved him. he makes effort, Kyungsoo. He brings me food, and talks to me about classes. You’re so focused on yourself, and on your studies that you’re never in the moment.’

‘ah. I’m sorry it seemed that way, Sehun. I do really care about you, but I find it difficult to show that sometimes. Maybe my brand of caring isn’t enough for you.’ Silence fills the room, and the pair sit in silence for more than a minute, before Sehun gets up and heads towards the door.

‘I hope you find happiness, Kyungsoo.’

‘hope so. You too, Sehun.’ Sehun walks out of the apartment, and Kyungsoo throws the mug that was sitting on the coffee table at the wall.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t see Sehun for a little while. He realises, in the second week since their break up that Sehun had stopped going to classes that Kyungsoo was in, and Sehun’s favourite coffee shop, that happened to be near Kyungsoo’s apartment.

he appreciates it, kind of, but he feels weird not seeing him around at all. It’s like Sehun has disappeared from existence, and Kyungsoo has to check his texts once in a little while to make sure that he wasn’t imagining the entire thing.

 

* * *

 

Next time Kyungsoo sees Sehun, is about two months later, and he’s holding hands with Jongin and walking between classes. He looks happy, smiling and laughing at Jongin, and Kyungsoo low-key dies inside. He wants Sehun to be happy, he does, but not with Jongin.

Jongin hurt him, and made him unable to care for people like he wants too. He made Sehun break up with him. Kyungsoo almost bursts into tears, and turns in the opposite direction of the happy couple and runs away.

He skips his next class, opting instead to lie on the floor of his apartment and listen to sad music. He gets up after twenty minutes, and goes back to studying. He promises himself he’ll deal with it next time.

 

* * *

 

 

He doesn’t deal with it.

 

* * *

 

 

Baekhyun shows up a week later, with Minseok in tow holding a bag of Chinese food, and bottles of Soju. He lets himself in, of course, and gives Kyungsoo a pitiful look when he spots Kyungsoo lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. He hasn’t moved in a couple of days, and Baekhyun is genuinely worried when he sees Kyungsoo not even respond to the door opening.

‘get off the floor, lets watch a movie and have a few drinks.’ Baekhyun helps Kyungsoo off the floor, and they sit down on the couch. Kyungsoo looks through the bag that Minseok just put down on the table, and picks up a bottle of soju. He opens it, looks at it for a second and takes a swig directly out of the bottle. Minseok looks disappointed. Baekhyun is impressed.

‘why are you here, Baek? I want to be alone.’ Kyungsoo grunts and takes another sip straight from the bottle.

‘we’re worried about you, Soo. No one has seen you in a week, you’ve just disappeared.’

‘I didn’t disappear, I’ve been here.’

‘have you left your apartment? have you eaten?’ Kyungsoo stays silent, and Baekhyun sighs.  ‘We brought your favourite for dinner, you’re going to eat it. And then we’re going to watch a movie, and you’re going to get over you know who.’

‘Baekhyun I just want to lay on the floor.’

‘this isn’t good for you, Soo. We know it hurts, especially because of Jongin.’ Minseok answers.

‘but laying on the floor feeling empty is not going to help you. Maybe you need to see someone, and that’s okay Soo, but not eating, and laying on the floor, even skipping your classes, is only going to make you feel worse. Sehun would hate to see you like this.’

‘fine, I’ll go to class tomorrow.’

‘tomorrow is Saturday, you really have no idea how long you’ve been here, huh?’

‘well I’ll go to class on Monday then. And I’ll catch up on my homework tomorrow.’

‘that’s what we wanted to hear, Soo.’

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo bumps into Jongin and Sehun the next week in the supermarket, while he’s buying himself vegetables to make an actual meal. He sees them first, and tries to escape before Jongin spots him and calls him over. Kyungsoo thinks about just walking out, but Baekhyun said something the other night about confronting his problems, and Kyungsoo had promised at least that he’d try. So he walks over to both his ex-boyfriends and does an awkward hand wave.

‘Soo, it’s been a little while, like a month? How are you?’ Sehun asks, and Kyungsoo is almost annoyed that he’s so okay with everything that happened.

‘I’m doing okay. Starting to realise why I’m like this and cant commit properly. Just so you know, Sehun, I did really like you. Sorry I didn’t make an effort.’ Kyungsoo apologises, and Sehun looks genuinely surprised.

‘it’s okay, Soo. I wasn’t 100% in it either.’ Sehun answers.

‘and Kyungsoo, I’m really sorry for getting involved again. I really hope you can forgive me, and we can be friends. We used to have some good times, you know. Before I moved away.’ Jongin tells him. Kyungsoo remembers the last time they hung out when they were sixteen, before everything started to get bad.  and yeah, it was fun. He smiles a little.

‘me too, Soo. Whenever you’re ready, we’d like to be a part of your life.’ Sehun adds on. Kyungsoo nods slowly, and stands there awkwardly for a second, not really knowing how to respond.

‘I’ll let you both know. It was nice seeing you both, but I have frozen stuff in here and I wouldn’t want it to melt.’ Kyungsoo points towards the door, and Sehun pats him on the shoulder.

‘We’ll see you Soon, yeah?’ Jongin says as he walks off, holding hands with Sehun.

‘huh.’ Kyungsoo mutters to himself, before continuing his shopping.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's super weird writing these bc they take place over a longish time, and I don't have time to write all of it, so there are a bunch of breaks. sorry this has taken so long, the song isn't even relevant anymore, hahahhaaha. hope the 17 people who are subscribed love it tho. sorry for making everyone such a dick. thanks for reading!!


	4. i'm so fucking thankful for my ex(s)

Kyungsoo walked into the coffee shop nearest to his house, and spots Baekhyun sitting in the booth closest to the back wall. He waves to baekhyun, taking his coat off and hanging it at the door before walking towards baekhyun. Baekhyun greets him with a wave and moves over in the booth.

Baekhyun had called him a week earlier, wanting to catch up, because it’d been almost a month since they’d seen each other last. Baekhyun greets Kyungsoo, grinning as the door opens behind Kyungsoo, and sehun and Jongin both walk through the door.

 

‘hey Soo! How’s it been?’ Jongin greets him and pulls him into a hug. Kyungsoo returns the hug, making eye contact with Baekhyun and silently questions what the fuck is going on. he looks towards sehun, and he gives a little shrug,  suggesting he doesn’t know either. They all walk to the back table, and sit down with baekhyun.

 

‘You must all be wondering why I have called you here.’ Baekhyun says, conspiratorially, rubbing his hands together and grinning. ‘we need to find Kyungsoo a boyfriend.’ All three of the men besides baekhyun roll their eyes at him, and baekhyun shoots them a grin.

 

‘Baekhyun, no.’ Kyungsoo complains, and baekhyun takes a sip of his pre-ordered coffee. He slides two mugs across the table to Sehun and Jongin, and then one to Kyungsoo.

 

‘Soo, he’s sorta right. Baekhyun and Minseok are engaged, we’re getting pretty serious. It’s been almost three years since you and sehun broke up, and you haven’t dated anyone else since. We’re sorta worried.’ Jongin looks concerned.

 

‘You adopted a cat!’ sehun agrees with his boyfriend. Kyungsoo puts his head down on the table and doesn’t look up to answer.

 

‘because I like cats, Sehun. I’m not lonely, I’m just really enjoying my single life right now. I have my dream job writing, the company is loving my work, I have my own apartment, and Selene!’

 

‘But you aren’t dating anyone? Is it because you still haven’t dealt with your Jongin issues?’ Baekhyun asks almost insensitively. Jongin gives him a sympathetic look, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.

 

‘I dealt with all of that years ago, you all know that. I just haven’t been looking for anyone. Plus, it’s not as easy to find gays in this city.’

 

‘you should start! Christmas is in two months, and you absolutely can’t come to my new years party single, again.’ Baekhyun stresses.

 

‘no, baekhyun. I’m in a good place right now, leave me alone.’ Kyungsoo squints at baekhyun. ‘and _don’t_ try to set me up any of your friends.’

 

‘fine. I’ll give you 6 months.’

 

‘I am warning all three of you, _do not_ try to meddle in my love life, okay?’

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo arrives home a week before Christmas, with no boyfriend, much to his mother’s dismay. He walks in the door, carrying his bags, and his mother greets him by kissing him on the forehead and giving him a hug before scolding him that he wasn’t bringing a boyfriend.

 

‘Soo, you said last time you would have a boyfriend next time. Seungsoo brought his fiancé, and you still don’t have anyone.’ His mother pinches his cheek, and Kyungsoo struggles away from her. His father walks into the room, coming over and patting him on the shoulder.

 

‘Kyungsoo, merry Christmas, it’s been a little while since you’ve come home. How’s work treating you?’

 

‘work is really busy. I’m not lonely, mom, I promise. I’ll find someone Soon.’

 

‘my baby. You’re so handsome, why aren’t the boys in Seoul all over you, they should be.’ Kyungsoo blushes, and his mother runs her hand through his hair. 

 

* * *

 

 

On the 19th of December, Kyungsoo receives a call from an unknown number. He looks at the phone questioningly, before leaving the kitchen and answering.

 

‘Hi, is this Do Kyungsoo?’

 

‘Yes, that’s me.’

 

‘I’m Park Siwoo, and I work for SM Entertainment. We have an upcoming album and we were wondering if you would like to work with one of our composers to write it.’

 

‘I’m not sure if I’m allowed to, because of my contract with jTBC.’

 

‘We can follow that up if you’re interested.’

 

‘how did you hear about me?’

 

‘We loved your work on the soundtrack of My ID is Gangnam Beauty, and thought your sound would work perfectly on this album.’

 

‘I’m interested. Can I ask who the album is for?’

 

‘I currently can’t tell you that, Mr Do.’

 

‘Okay, well. Can you please email the details to my work address?’

 

‘of course, Mr. Do. Sorry to bother you so close to Christmas.’

 

‘No worries. Thank you for the opportunity.’

 

* * *

 

 

He gets two emails the next day, one from his company, and one from SME about the album. The first, telling him that as long as his work wasn’t affected at JTBC, and that he completed the work on the album outside of work hours, that it would be fine.

 

The second email, set out the details, including the huge chunk of money that he would be paid on completion, and the name of the other composer that he would be working with. Park Chanyeol, is written in the document, followed by a scanned page of messy, scrawled notes about ideas for songs, and ideas for melodies already.

 

Kyungsoo decides to do it, and figures that he’ll hear from SME about signing contracts in the next few days.  He sends a quick email back to Siwoo, telling him that he will accept the opportunity, and will sign the contract when he gets back to Seoul after Christmas, and then logs off his laptop.

 He gets another email at 3am, this time from a new address. It wakes Kyungsoo up, and he squints at the screen for a second before putting the phone down and going back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

The email reads:

 

Hi Kyungsoo!

I thought I’d just send you a quick email introducing myself, and what I’m looking to make on this project! I’m Park Chanyeol, and I’ve been working for SME producing music for 4 years now! I was wanting to collaborate with people on this album, because I think the artist it’s for would like something different and interesting that still fits their style. Anyway, just thought I would say hi, and I’ll hear from you Soon!!

 

Kyungsoo hates it. The sheer number of exclamation points alone makes Kyungsoo reconsider the contract for a second, before he remembers how much better his bank account will look in a couple of months when the project is finished. He sends a quick response, saying hello and formally telling Park Chanyeol that he is looking forward to working on it.

 

* * *

 

 

Christmas goes fine, and by the time he’s back in Seoul, he and Chanyeol have emailed back and forth significantly more than Kyungsoo had expected or wanted to. Chanyeol is far more of a perfectionist than Kyungsoo would have thought. So he’d sometimes email two, three times in a row so that Kyungsoo understood exactly what he meant when he would explain his vision for the project.

 

Kyungsoo had enough of this by the 45th email from Chanyeol, so he tells Chanyeol that they should meet up, and discuss the album in person. Chanyeol responds about thirty seconds later, agreeing that they should meet up, and suggests the coffee shop close to Kyungsoo’s apartment. this leads Kyungsoo to believe that Chanyeol lives close by, and then begins to think that he’s probably seen Chanyeol before.

 

In the past week and a half, Kyungsoo hadn’t even thought of googling Park Chanyeol, and seeing what came up. when he did, he was surprised to find almost no pictures, but hundreds of writing credits next to his name from SM, and multiple other companies.

 

Kyungsoo had only worked at JTBC for 2 years now, and for the first year had been working on compiling soundtracks from other artists, and mixing them to fit with dramas that JTBC had coming out.

 

It was only six months ago that he’d been promoted to write songs for them, and only two months since one of the songs had actually been used in anything. It just so happened that his song was popular, and somehow SM Entertainment found out about it and decided to hire him for an album.

 

Kyungsoo had also found a fairly bare Instagram page, that he was pretty sure belonged to Chanyeol. It was mostly pictures of a beautiful piano, and his guitars, and a few pictures of people Kyungsoo didn’t recognise. The only photo that was there, was a semi-covered photo of Chanyeol’s face, which was covered by someone’s hand.

 

weird.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo arrives at the cafe 15 minutes early, because he wasnt going to arrive second. He wants to prove something to Chanyeol, but he doesn't know exactly what. So he sits on his phone, until he hears the bell on the door ring, and he looks up.

 

A tall, incredibly attractive man walks in, and Kyungsoo prays to god that it’s not Chanyeol. He mutters under his breath, ‘please don’t be Chanyeol, please don’t be Chanyeol,’ hoping that the man walking towards his table is doing so for some other reason.

 

‘Kyungsoo, it’s so nice to meet you! I’m Park Chanyeol,’ he puts his hand out to shake Kyungsoo’s and Kyungsoo sighs.

 

‘ _Dammit.’_ Chanyeol sends him a questioning look, but leaves it be.  ‘Oh, it’s nothing.’ Kyungsoo answers, and Chanyeol sends him a smile that Kyungsoo was absolutely not prepared for.

 

He’s fucked.

 

* * *

 

 

They finish writing the songs in a bit less than two months. Kyungsoo thought it would take longer, given the frankly huge amount of money that SM had given him to work with Chanyeol.

He finds that Chanyeol is only 26, a year older than him, which surprises him because of the incredible amount of writing credits he had to his name. he supposes it’s because Chanyeol works hard to finish songs so quickly. A week after they first met up, he had already finished writing the basic in it’s entirety for the first two songs, and he wanted Kyungsoo to go over and add an extra melody, before he submitted them to SM at 4am that night.

He also finds that Chanyeol is perfect in every way, and Kyungsoo hates it. He’s well dressed, and looks good. He has a good career, he’s motivated, and Kyungsoo genuinely loves every second they spend together.

So the last day of them working together comes around, and they both tell each other they’ll keep in touch, and Soo begins to leave the studio and Chanyeol grabs his arm, a little forcefully and Kyungsoo stops to turn around and look at Chanyeol again.

‘it was lovely to work with you, Soo. I hope we can do it again someday. Can I take you out for dinner to celebrate.’

‘right now? It’s almost 10pm!’

‘I know, but don’t you feel sorta energised?’ Chanyeol asks him. Kyungsoo doesn’t, but from just the look on Chanyeol’s face, he ends up nodding.

‘So we can get dinner! I know this amazing noodle place near here?’ Kyungsoo nods again, and Chanyeol stands up and grabs his coat, putting it on before following Soo out of the studio.

Kyungsoo realises on the elevator down, that this might be a date. He doesn’t know, really, but it could be. Like Chanyeol wanted to make sure they didn’t stop talking as they left. But then, he thinks, Chanyeol is over-enthusiastic about everything, what if he’s just happy to get rid of Kyungsoo from the project?

He sighs, like always, and Chanyeol sends him a look from next to him.

‘Stop thinking about work. We’re finished now.’ The elevator dings, and Chanyeol man-handles Kyungsoo out of the elevator and out the door, turning left out of the building and walking very quickly. Kyungsoo almost can’t keep up, because his much shorter legs can’t move as quickly as Chanyeol.

‘I forgot you’re short, I’ll walk slower.’ Kyungsoo slaps him on the arm slightly, but doesn’t say anything in response.

 

* * *

 

 

They walk for ten minutes, reaching an almost empty noodle place, and Kyungsoo looks at it questioningly before following Chanyeol in.

‘Hey Ma!’ Chanyeol yells into the empty restaurant, and the colour drains out of Kyungsoo’s face.’

‘isn’t it a little early for me to be meeting your parents?’ Kyungsoo jokes quietly, and Chanyeol lets out a proper laugh. He’s cute when he does that. Kyungsoo just watches for a second, before a short, older lady walks out holding a mop.

‘Yeollie, you haven’t visited in two weeks! Oh, and who’s this?’

‘Mom, this is Kyungsoo. We were working together on that project? Today is the last day, so I thought I would take him to the best restaurant in town to celebrate.’

‘sit down, sit down. It’s so nice to meet you, Kyungsoo, Yeol has told us all about you.’ Chanyeol pulls out his chair, and Kyungsoo sits down. Kyungsoo still doesn’t know whether it’s a date, but it’s definitely interesting that Chanyeol had told his mother about him.

‘It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs Park. I didn’t know you had a restaurant.’

‘We’ve had it for a long time now. Chanyeol still comes and helps out on the busy nights.’

‘be quiet, mom.’ Chanyeol tells her with a faint blush on his cheeks. Kyungsoo thinks its adorable, and looks around the restaurant quickly to ensure that Chanyeol didn’t see him looking too much. ‘you okay with kimchi spaghetti? There’s always some in the fridge.’

‘yeah, that sounds delicious.’

 

* * *

 

Kyungsoo still doesn’t know if it’s a date or not. He pulled out Kyungsoo’s chair, and he’s been so sweet all evening. But Chanyeol hasn’t said anything that implied that they were on a date, they had just been talking and talking all night. Enough, that Mrs Park had come in to tell the two of them that she was going to bed, and asked Chanyeol to lock up for her.

He agreed, and kynugsoo checked his watch, wondering why she was going to sleep so early. Until he realised it was 12am, and they’d been sitting for two hours, just talking.

‘it’s late, huh. You have work tomorrow, we should probably get you home.’

‘it’s okay, I can walk.’

‘I’ll walk with you.’ Chanyeol tells him, and doesn’t leave much room for Kyungsoo to protest.

They walk all the way back to Kyungsoo’s apartment, Chanyeol silently laughing every now and again. Kyungsoo finally asks, standing outside his building, and Chanyeol tells him that his place is in the building next to Kyungsoo’s. Huh.

Chanyeol offers to walk him up to his apartment, and it’s suddenly silent as they get to the door.

‘I really enjoyed tonight, Kyungsoo. I really hope we can go out again Soon.’

‘wait so this was a date?’

‘yes, Soo. I took you to my mom’s restaurant, I pulled out your chair for you, and took off your coat. I walked you home.’

‘oh okay.’

‘is that not okay?’

‘no, no. it is, I have just been wondering about it all night.’

‘okay well, I better go.’ Chanyeol awkwardly gestures to the elevators down the hall.

‘oh. Well, get home safe, Chanyeol.’ Kyungsoo can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Even though he was absolutely exhausted and probably needed 12 cups of coffee, Kyungsoo wanted to continue their date. Kyungsoo opens the door to his apartment, and kisses Chanyeol on the cheek before saying bye and closing the door. He stands there for a second, when he hears knocking on the door quietly. He opens the door back up, and Chanyeol is still standing there.

‘sorry, I know I just said bye, but I realised I didn’t want to stop hanging out with you.’ The sides of Kyungsoo’s mouth twitch up into a grin, and he lets Chanyeol into his apartment.

 

* * *

 

They don’t have sex. They chat, for hours and hours, with coffee. Chanyeol tells him about his love for animals, and Kyungsoo introduces Chanyeol to Mr Whiskers. Kyungsoo tells him about his best friends, and ex’s. they talk about their favourite songs, and their childhoods, and Kyungsoo thinks he really likes Chanyeol even more than he did earlier that night.

It gets to six am, and they watch the sun come up through the window with more coffee, more talking.

‘do you have to go to work today?’

‘I can call in sick.’ Kyungsoo grins. ‘but I do need some sleep at some time. Come on.’ Soo drags Chanyeol to his bedroom, and Chanyeol looks around.

‘I’m not really a sleeping with people on the first date, sorta person, sorry Soo.’

‘no, I just want to sleep. Come sleep next to me for a couple of hours, and then I’ll make breakfast.’

‘I’m not sure I trust myself, in bed with you. You’re so fucking beautiful, and I’ve wanted you since I first walked into the coffee shop.’

‘oh okay. I’ll sleep on the couch, and you can sleep here if you want?’

‘I couldn’t. it’s your bed.’

‘but the couch is tiny.’

‘I’ll make it work. Do you have a pillow I can borrow?’ Kyungsoo takes the top one off his bed and gives it to Chanyeol.

‘I’ll see you in a few hours, I guess?’ Chanyeol grins and nods at Kyungsoo. He walks out of the room and Kyungsoo dives into bed, cuddling up to one of his pillows. He can’t stop smiling.

He falls asleep pretty quickly.

 

* * *

 

3 hours later, at 10am, Kyungsoo wakes up, and takes a quick shower, before getting changed and walking out to the living room. Chanyeol is curled up on the couch, cuddling Kyungsoo’s pillow, and Kyungsoo’s heart almost stops because of how adorable it is. He sneaks past and walks to the kitchen, pulling some stuff out of the fridge to make breakfast. He makes coffee first, the way he’s learned Chanyeol likes it, and puts it down on the coffee table in front of a sleeping Chanyeol.

He’s halfway through making breakfast, when Chanyeol appears behind him, and hugs him while Kyungsoo is standing at the stove.

‘hey.’ Chanyeol’s morning voice is stunning, and Kyungsoo honestly forgets what he’s doing for a second. He turns the stove off, and turns around to face Chanyeol, pulling his chin down to kiss him. they pull away for a few seconds, and Kyungsoo laughs.

‘hi.’ Kyungsoo says back, and Chanyeol giggles.

* * *

 

 

Chanyeol eats every single thing that Kyungsoo makes (which is a lot) and then raids the fridge later for more food. Kyungsoo finds it disgusting, but also sort of endearing.

‘what, Soo? It’s the most important meal of the day!’ Kyungsoo shakes his head and drinks his coffee.

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol leaves just after he finishes breakfast. He gives Kyungsoo a kiss on the cheek, telling him he has some work to finish at home, but that Kyungsoo should text him. Kyungsoo pulls him into a proper kiss before shooing him out of his apartment, and telling him he’ll text him later.

(he does.)

 

* * *

 

6 months in, and Kyungsoo is the happiest he’s ever been. Chanyeol is over more often than not, and they go out and get drinks with baekhyun, sehun, and Jongin, and Kyungsoo meets Chanyeol’s friends, and they all get along. Chanyeol meets Kyungsoo’s parents, and Kyungsoo meets Chanyeol’s dad and sister.

Kyungsoo is cooking dinner one night when Chanyeol gets to his apartment, and yells ‘honey, I’m home,’ before coming into the kitchen and cuddling up to Kyungsoo, and putting his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist. Chanyeol’s head is resting on Kyungsoo’s neck, and he gives it a little kiss and Kyungsoo almost starts crying.

‘is this what happiness feels like?’

‘yeah, I think so.’

‘go get the movie started, you sap. I’ll bring dinner out in a second.’

‘love you!’ Chanyeol kisses him on the cheek and lets go of Kyungsoo’s waist, walking out to the living room and turning on the tv.

 

* * *

 

Their second Christmas together is at Kyungsoo’s house, and his mom is so happy that he’s finally brought home a boyfriend, that she almost falls over running to greet Chanyeol at the door when they arrive.

‘sorry we’re so late, but Chanyeol has a project that he has to get in by the 27th and he wanted to get as much done today before we started eating.’

‘it’s okay, Chanyeol, it’s totally fine. You have to support our baby, and that means working hard.’

‘mom!’

‘well she’s not wrong.’

‘I have my own job! He lives in MY apartment!’ Chanyeol gives him a sneaky kiss and puts his bags down, as his mother directs them to the kitchen to start cooking for their feast that night.

 

* * *

 

After they exchange presents, they’re sitting on the couch watching some Christmas movie that Chanyeol isn’t paying much attention to. Kyungsoo sends him a look, and Chanyeol smiles back. Kyungsoo turns back to the movie, when Chanyeol tugs on his arm. He turns back around, and Chanyeol is holding a ring.

‘Soo, this past two years have been the best of my life. I love you so much, and I can’t see my future without you in it. Will you marry me?’ Kyungsoo’s mom screams, and agrees to Chanyeol for him. Kyungsoo laughs at how unbelievable this all is, before nodding and taking the ring. Chanyeol pulls him into a kiss, and Kyungsoo’s mom and dad are cheering in the background. Seungsoo makes a puking noise, and they pull apart.

‘I need to tell baekhyun!!’

‘he already knows that I was going to ask.’

‘did you ask for his permission?’ Kyungsoo asks, unbelievably. Chanyeol doesn’t say anything and looks down at the floor. ‘you asked my best friend if you could propose. That’s sweet.’ Kyungsoo pulls Chanyeol for another kiss.

He doesn’t sleep that night. He’s too excited.

 

* * *

 

On the day of the wedding, Kyungsoo is _stressed._ People keep showing up, and wishing him well, and it’s freaking him out.

Until baekhyun walks in, and punches him on the arm and tells Kyungsoo to relax.

‘I saw a few people out there that I didn’t recognise from the engagement party. Cute gay couple?’

‘oh, that must be Jongdae and Junmyeon. I dated Jongdae before you, and  Junmyeon was a good friend from Choir club?’

‘ha, nerd. Want me to invite them in? you probably need a distraction.’

‘yeah, I haven’t seen them since the reunion. Send them in!’

They’re in the room with Kyungsoo sitting drinking a glass of wine about five minutes later. Baekhyun had clearly forced them in, because they’re still holding their glasses of wine and confused looks on their faces.

‘Hey, Soo! Congratulations. I’m so happy for you!’ Jongdae exclaims as  he comes in the room and gives Soo a hug. Junmyeon hugs him after, sharing similar sentiments to Jongdae.

‘Thank you guys for coming! This is baekhyun, by the way. Boyfriend number three. But now we’re best friends!’

‘ah, Baekhyun. It’s nice to meet you, after you dragged us in here.’ Jongdae joked.

‘so are you two married?’ baekhyun asks.

‘we got married two years ago, it was amazing.’

‘not regretting getting married at all?’ Kyungsoo asks. Baekhyun rolls his eyes, and pats Kyungsoo on the shoulder.

‘you don’t regret this, Kyungsoo. I’ve met you. You love Chanyeol, more than anything. The last two years has been one long speech you’ve made about Chanyeol and how great he is.’

‘at the reunion, you seemed genuinely in love with him. I’ve never regretted marrying Myeonie. Not once. You want this, Kyungsoo.’ Kyungsoo nods.

‘I want to marry him. but what if it doesn’t work out. What if we have to get a divorce?’

‘then you’ll find someone else, Soo. This is the reason every relationship you’ve ever had has never worked. We thought you were over it, but clearly not. Wait here a second.’ Baekhyun disappears, for a long time, and comes back holding Jongin and Sehun by the arms.

‘your friend Baekhyun is very, aggressive.’ Jongdae points out, and Junmyeon laughs quietly, hiding it behind his glass of wine.

‘you’re telling me. I dated him for nine months.’

‘Baekhyun told us you were having a breakdown.’ Sehun sits down next to Kyungsoo, and leans on him. Kyungsoo makes a vague noise in agreement. ‘This isn’t you anymore, Soo. You’re a responsible adult, who doesn’t have commitment issues and _loves_ Chanyeol more than anything in your life. You’re gonna walk down the aisle in—’ sehun checks his watch, ’20 minutes. And you’re going to get married to Yeollie, who you have described as the most perfect man you have every met.’  

‘I suppose it’s fitting that all my ex-boyfriends are currently in the same room 20 minutes before the wedding is about to start. Okay, I’m okay. Sorry for dragging you all in here. Go back out there, I’ll see you in 15.’

‘you need me to do your tie?’ Jongin asks, as everyone walks out of the room. Kyungsoo nods, and Jongin grabs his tie, and begins tying it.

‘for all it’s worth, I’m sorry I messed you up. I really didn’t mean to, I was young and didn’t realise how much I could hurt people. I did really care about you.’

‘you know, Jongin. Without you, without baekhyun, sehun, even Jongdae, this wouldn’t have worked out. Thank you for breaking my heart.’

‘you’re welcome, Kyungsoo.’ Jongin sends him a grin and finishes up tying his tie.  He turns Kyungsoo around to the mirror, and adjusts it for him. ‘ready to get married?’

‘I am now.’ Kyungsoo looks in the mirror one more time, quickly playing with his hair. ‘I’ll be out in a sec.’ Jongin closes the door behind him, and Kyungsoo sits back down. He breathes in, relaxes a little and finishes his wine. ‘I’ve got this.’

 

* * *

 

The wedding goes well. Pretty quick, honestly, Kyungsoo doesn’t remember much but staring into Chanyeol’s eyes and smiling. They spend a quick minute alone taking photos, and then have a drink together before they appear at the reception, where they are immediately greeted by everyone, and thrust up on stage to make speeches.

‘wow okay, I didn’t realise this would be happening so quickly. Let’s just get these boring speeches out of the way, and then we can dance and chat!’ the crowd laughs, and Chanyeol keeps talking. ‘I think I’m first, so I’ll just, speech I suppose.’

‘I didn’t think I would ever meet a Kyungsoo. I love him more than I could possibly love anyone, and I’ve loved a lot in my life. He’s, something else, Kyungsoo. I honestly thought he hated me, but turns out he was just super attracted to me. Not hard, I know.’ The crowd giggles, and Kyungsoo tries not to bang his head on the closest surface.

‘I won’t embarrass you anymore, promise.’ He squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand. ‘about six months in to our relationship, Soo was cooking for me in his apartment, and I came in the door and hugged him. he stood there for a second, and asked quietly if this was what happiness was like. I knew he was going to be in my life forever, right then. That was almost three years ago, and I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my life cuddling him in the kitchen while he cooks me dinner. I’ll even promise to cook dinner sometimes too!’ Chanyeol and Kyungsoo share a quick kiss, before Chanyeol hands him the microphone. ‘your turn.’ Chanyeol whispers in Soo’s ear.

‘Five years ago, if anyone had said I would be getting married, and be this happy, I wouldn’t have believed you. Ten years ago, when I was 15, I was going through my first heartbreak. I couldn’t imagine even then, that I would ever find someone that I loved that much again.

It happened a couple more times, me thinking I was in love. I wasn’t, but I didn’t know that until I met Chanyeol. You’ve probably all heard this story, but I want to tell it again, and you can all quit complaining.

I honestly hated Chanyeol, before we met. We were emailing back and forth, and I was genuinely sure that when I finally met him, I would hate him. and then I walked into the café, and saw him. I was thinking ‘don’t be Chanyeol’ the entire time, and then he called me over and I died on the inside. We worked together for a month, and on the last day he asked me out on a date, and we spent the whole night just talking. And then it continued to be incredible, every time I saw him. and now,  I wake up and I see him. when he comes home from work, or brings me coffee in the office. And I love it every day.

 

Thank you all for coming, it means a lot. Thank you, especially, to all my exes. They’re all here, and I know it sounds unusual but they’re my best friends in the entire world. And they made me the person I am today, who was open to love, enough that I’m getting married now. Yeollie and I would not have worked out, otherwise, and I’m so thankful that it did. He’s my future. My forever. I love you, Chanyeol.’

 

* * *

 

 

They dance to a song that Chanyeol wrote, and they kiss. They cut the cake, and dance some more, and chat to everyone there, and drink a whole bunch of wine. They kiss a lot too, and just before the night is supposed to end, they sneak out and get an uber back to their apartment. They open their presents, and drink more wine, and wait until tomorrow for their flight to Paris where they can drink more wine and love each other for forever.

 

* * *

 

The flight is really long, and Kyungsoo almost kisses the ground when they finally get to Paris. They get to their hotel, and they draw a bath and sit there for hours, talking quietly about the wedding, and how unfortunate it is that their friends get along so well. They order real champagne, and splash each other with the bubbles, and fall in love again.

 

* * *

 

‘Hey, Chanyeol, let’s go have a picnic on the grass near the Eiffel tower.’ kyungsoo yells to chanyeol, who’s in the shower. Kyungsoo is sat on their bed in the hotel, watching the news on TV.

 

‘sounds good, I have a surprise for you.’ the shower turns off, and Chanyeol walks out of the bathroom with a towel slung low on his waist. His skin is still dripping, and kyungsoo can’t breathe for a second.

 

‘Hey, sexy husband. What’s happening in the world?’ chanyeol points to the tv, holding his towel with one hand.

 

‘I don’t know, it’s in french.’ chanyeol lets out a laugh and kyungsoo huffs.

 

‘Did you just say you had a surprise?’ kyungsoo asks, and chanyeol nods, walking over to their bags in the corner, beginning to get dressed. Kyungsoo pouts.

 

‘Stop surprising me with things! If you bought me one more present, i’m going to fight you.’ chanyeol laughs as he pulls on his pants.

 

‘you’ll see. But we need to stop by a sandwich shop.’ Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, but gets up from the hotel room bed, and starts to get dressed next to his new husband.

 

They walk hand in hand to the grass, stopping by a shop to get food. Chanyeol asks for them in perfect French, and Kyungsoo wants to take Chanyeol back to the hotel room. They walk over to the grass hand in hand and sit down. They eat their sandwiches, followed by more champagne, and talk about what they’re gonna do when they get back to Seoul.

 

‘So what’s my surprise?’ Kyungsoo asks. Chanyeol kisses him on the cheek and opens his bag, pulling out a ukulele. ‘where did you even get that? you didn’t bring it with you.’

‘shhh. Let me play you my song.’ Chanyeol plays it, and Kyungsoo can’t help but think how this is a good way to spend forever.

  


 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been lit my dudes. thank you so much for commenting, it meant a lot. sorry for all the angst, but I think i definitely made up for it with the MOST sweet and adorable Chanyeol.

**Author's Note:**

> hey if you like this, read my other fics. they aren't very good, but they're funny. follow me on twitter @fuckboibam. i hope you like this, and the next part will be up soon.


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